Inspired

  So I have this friend who I've known since, well about 5th grade I guess. We were cheerleaders together ;)    She is the one who inspired me to learn photography when I went to her in-home studio and had her take pictures of Brooklyn.  She took these (picture on the left) after doing photography for literally a few months. Oh, and she taught herself. She's always been incredibly smart. So now, after doing photography for 5 or 6 years, you can imagine how awesome her work is.  It blows me away, and I am always gushing about her work on her blog and facebook. And I mean GUSHING.  When I have something nice to say, I usually don't hold back ;) I say it ALL. (I guess that's why Trace and I are BFF's.  Because her compliments are like mine on crack, lol.  Trace definitely has me beat, that sweet girl) 

      Any-hoo, so my friend would never respond to my compliments and praise. Never. So one gets a bit self conscious. I started thinking that I probably annoy her by being such a big fan (and here's a little secret about me: One of my WORST fears is to be annoying to other people). I also tend to copy her a little bit (I can't help it, she has such great ideas!).  For example the color block I do sometimes on the side of my pictures, like this b&w picture of Brooklyn above? I got that idea from her {blush}.  


      So I created in my head all the reasons why she doesn't like me, and stopped commenting on her stuff. I didn't want to bug her.
But for awhile now I have noticed that, although she is an AMAZING photographer, she always puts her family first. In fact, she just had baby #3 and isn't doing a photography business at all. She only takes pictures of her own family, and those pictures just get better and better.  When she posts pictures of her family on her blog, she will write several paragraphs about their life at that time, and she just keeps a really good record of their family.


  This is something that I want to do.  It's such an internal struggle for me.  I want to work on my photography website, client pictures, etc.  But I also want to take pictures of my kids, and keep up with my blog because it is the only record of our family that I'm keeping right now. So I'm constantly torn between wanting to grow my business, and wanting to devote more time to my family, and photograph and blog about them more. 


I KNOW who I want to be. I want to be a daughter of God + wife + mother first and foremost. But in photography, if you're not progressing, you are being left behind, and, although I try not to let that bother me, it does. I see so many Mommy photographers who are incredibly successful, but it is obvious that their success comes at the price of their family.  I just read a post recently from a photographer that said that her husband returned from Iraq a little early (after being gone an entire year) and she was so excited because now she has weekends available to do more photo shoots!  That made me so sad (and honestly quite sick to my stomach).  Here is someone who has their priorities SERIOUSLY screwed up.
 But I can understand it at the same time. The pull of this world is so strong!  If you don't know exactly who you want to be (and in my case remind yourself of who you want to be on a daily basis), you can get sucked in and be excited that your husband is back from a deployment because now you have a babysitter while you pack in more photo shoots.  Yikes. That is the person that I do NOT want to be.


Each time I feel the pull to advertise, and/or spend a bunch of time on business-related things, I think of my amazing friend. I admire her so much. And it's not because she's a great photographer (which she IS), it's because she is so good, she could hire a nanny and be out there making lots of money and making a name for herself.  But she chooses to stay at home and experience every minute of her kids' childhood right along with them.  And with her God-given, hard-work-enhanced talent, she records so many of those special moments on camera. 


      I really admire her so much for those difficult, righteous choices that she is making.  And I have wanted to tell her that for awhile. But I assumed I bugged her, so I didn't.  But there is something very wrong about noticing something so noble about a person and not telling them. That is prideful.  So yesterday I decided to just swallow my pride and write her a little letter.  I told her that she inspires me to make being a mother/wife/daughter of God top priority. And I wanted her to know that, like the story of Mary & Martha in the New Testament, she is "choosing the better part" and that is so honorable.


 So I wrote it, sent it, and said to myself that I would not hear back from her, but that doesn't matter because I felt it needed to be said.
  
She wrote right back.  It turns out that she really needed to hear that at that time for personal reasons.    



  I learned for myself the truth of that quote: "Be kinder than necessary, because everyone is fighting some kind of battle." I am so, so glad that I followed my heart, and wrote her that letter.  I feel like God allowed me to be a tool for righteousness, to help reassure someone that they were on the right path.  And to be honored with the opportunity to do God's work? I can't tell you how amazing that feels.