Aloha from the Feiders

Mommy Class, leg swasses, etc.

2012-01-25T23:59:00.001-06:00

Okay so I am taking a parenting class at the library once a week. So far the information has not been spectacular, but I love it because I get to sit there for and hour and a half and focus mentally on being a good Mother to my children.
Mainly I am taking this class because I have a toddler who I have no idea how to handle. Mr. Stone really ticks me off. A lot. He is SO adorable, as most 2-year-olds are, so I can't stay mad at him for long, but I can't stay UN mad at him for long either! I haven't understood the phrase "terrible two" until now (which is pretty fortunate considering he is my third baby). He is a handful!
Pete is really good with Stone. He doesn't seem to get under Pete's skin at all. So for the last 2 days I have been discreetly observing Pete when he interacts with Stone so I can copy the way he handles him. Here's what I discovered: Pete just plays with him. When Stone is throwing a fit while Pete is trying to change his diaper, he pretends to do an arm-bar-choke-out-whatever on him and makes him giggle like crazy. Pete will chase him around, and play with him like a boy. Monsters, jujitsu, manly stuff. He loves it. I don't play with him like a boy. I think I play too gently and girly with him. Not sure I'm going to be able to mimic my husband on this one. I tried copying his diaper-change strategy. I failed miserably. Stone was like "Uh...what are you doing."

Pete and I are reading a book together every night called 5 Spiritual Solutions for Every-Day Parenting.
(Okay don't judge me. Yes I am a little obsessed with parenting right now. I am okay with that. It makes me happy to be putting photography on the back-burner, and focusing on more important things. Deal with it. {wink}) So yes, as the parenting obsession continues, my husband gets sucked in too. We must do these things together.
The truth is I bribe him to read this book with me every night. I scratch ("swass") his back or his legs (weird, I know. Who likes their LEGS scratched? Weirdo. ;)) and we read the parenting book aloud together. It works.
Anyway, this book was recommended to me by my incredibly smart friend, Marrian who is an inspired mother, and a well-read person.
I love the book. It's giving me a better perspective on parenting. A different perspective than you usually hear. I really like it!
New Years Resolution update: I made stuffed chicken and peas tonight! Woo-hoo! We won't talk about Monday and Tuesday night. One day at a time, right? We celebrate the little successes over here.

2012-01-20T14:41:00.113-06:00

We had an Enrichment on organization last week. Check out the office-supply topiaries that I made for the table decor:

I was at a loss for ideas when putting together this Enrichment. Every time I have to come up with something creative, I miss my sister, Shauna even more. I always wish I could call her for ideas. She had the most amazing ideas. Somehow I managed to think this one up on my own so I'm pretty proud of these things. I gave two of them to Pete to put on his desk at work. SO far they are still sitting on our counter, LOL.

I've been doing fairly well with making dinner almost every night. I still hate it. But I feel good that I'm taking better care of my family.

Brooklyn's doing pretty well. She does REALLY well in school, at least with her school work. I can't remember if I blogged about this before, but she gets 100% on nearly every assignment. They do these practice tests for their standardized testing, and she got 100% on the last 7 in a row! But I feel fairly certain that she has my exact form of ADD. The thought of doing any little thing stresses her out. The suggestion of cleaning her room absolutely paralyzes her. She is me without my ADD medicine. I get her schoolwork back and it's things like this:

100% correct but forgot to write her name on both sheets, lol.

I haven't done anything about it, but it is constantly on my mind. I have to do something to help her. I worry that she is being neglected because of all our focus on Jett. We are very proud of that little girl though. I hope she feels that.

Stoney is as cute as ever! It's a good thing he's so cute because he is VERY "2-years-old" if you know what I mean. He's into everything! And loves to defy us. Ugh! But man is he funny! His new phrase is "Are you kidding me?!". It sounds like "Ah you KIDDINE ME?!!". And he says "Yam!" for "Here I am!" and "Yiz!" for "There it is!". When I go to a session, Pete will ask Stone where I am and Stone will say "Mommy photo toot!!" SO cute. Stone is SO bossy. He orders us around constantly, It drives me crazy. But then he will do something hilarious, (like pretending to straight-iron my hair with the kitchen tongs) and he is forgiven.

Okay I'm trying not to post so much about Jett, but I'm going to talk myself out of worrying what other people think of my posts. If I want to write things exclusively for other people, I have facebook for that. I think of my blog as being mainly a journal where I can record what's going on in my life, and be able to refer back to it. It's also for family and friends to know what's going on with us, and leave their comments and well-wishes. I feel like God has really blessed me through friends supporting me through my blog. I've had people that I had lost touch with who have written me with really helpful information, not to mention lots of love and support. But even though my blog has been really, really wonderful to stay in touch with people, I still need to remind myself to use it primarily as a journal, and not worry if people don't like me posting about one subject obsessively. Yes, I'm feeling a little self-conscious, haha. Yes I'm going to talk about Jett yet again. He's doing so well during the day. There are times when I feel like he's acting almost like a normal 4-year-old child. But then he has these episodes in the middle of the night, and during those he seems very, well, there's not a descriptive word that I am comfortable using to describe my sweet Jett- even in his worst moments. But you get the idea. During those episodes, he definitely does not seem like a normal, healthy child. He had a really bad one last night. He was so upset, he was almost angry. He was doing a lot of things that you would expect a "special" child to do. flailing arms, shaking his head and everything. It's so sad and scary. This summer when I had not yet accepted that there was anything "wrong" with Jett, he was having a lot of night-terrors (or episodes). One night he had a bad one and Pete was stressed out because he was trying to take care of him and Jett wouldn't respond to Pete at all. So Pete, being totally frustrated, was trying to yell at Jett and make him stop freaking out. He was like "Jett stop crying right now!" I now understand that he just wanted to help Jett calm down, but was helpless to do anything for him, so he resorted to the man way of handling things. But at the moment I was horrified that he would actually yell at Jett to stop crying. So I went over there and held Jett and snapped at Pete that- how could he yell at his son when he's so upset?! I said "I think there may be something wrong". And Pete said angrily "Maybe he has autism or something!". I was FURIOUS!! How dare he suggest that! How dare he use such a vulgar word to describe our precious little son?! And now here we are half a year later with this diagnosis. I think about that night quite often. No real point to this story. Just some things I want to remember.
Oh wait, I just remembered my point. I think that I have figured out a clue to the cause of Jett's night terrors. I have been thinking that he seems to have an episode after a really interactive, full day. After his big day of being evaluated for hours, he had one that night. It was his first one in a week. I started wondering if it was his brain making new connections or something. The next day (yesterday) I worked with him a TON. I was constantly pushing him to think differently, and to answer questions that he hasn't previously understood. He did a lot of thinking that was new and advanced for him. When I put him to bed I had a distinct feeling that he would have a significant episode that night. I wonder if there is anything to this.

the news

2012-01-18T18:51:00.001-06:00

The other day I was telling my friend that I was nervous about Jett's upcoming evaluation with the child development department at KU. I told her that my prayer and my wish is that after he is evaluated, the docs come in and tell us that although Jett has (blank) it is a very mild form of (blank) and, if we work with him consistently and teach him in the right way, he is likely to grow up to be normal... no, even better than normal because he will still have all these amazing strengths that he has minus the problems.

Today we had his big appointment. Hours of evaluation for him and questions and discussions for us. Jett loved every minute of it! He got to play and talk his heart out to this very kind doctor who seemed way more comfortable playing with children than talking to adults ;)
And I finally got to talk with professionals about my wonderful baby boy and all his quirks and charms. I realized while relaying the details of Jett's personality, that in the last 5 months since the initial realization that Jett has some type of ASD, Jett has made a TON of progress. I answered so many of their questions with "Well, he used to do be really bad with that, but has gotten way better in the last few months.". I'm not sure if it's because he's gotten older and therefore improved, or if it's because 5 months ago we had this huge realization, cried for a few days (me, not Pete) and then got to work trying to help him. Probably the main reason is that, at the realization of his ASD, we started praying our hearts out for our sweet little guy and his uncertain future. God is amazing and incredibly generous.

Back to the appointment: the last step was to meet with the whole team to go over the results.
The doctor started off by asking us if we happened to see 60 minutes last night. It was about a boy who started college at 10 years old. He is a brilliant but *normal* kid. He also happens to have autism, but through his childhood, has progressed in such a way that no one can tell in the slightest. He said he can see a similar future for Jett. They told us that Jett does not have aspergers. He loves other kids and people too much to qualify for that diagnoses (among a few other things). They said that Jett actually has high-functioning autism, and it IS a mild form. The doctor said that if we continue to work with Jett, and have him work with OT's and other resources, Jett will flourish. He said he wouldn't be surprised if Jett was reevaluated in a few years and he showed no signs of any autism spectrum disorder.
I cried. My wish and prayer for my little boy! That's exactly what I wanted. They said we've been doing a great job with him and to continue doing what we are doing and gain new skills and knowledge from all these resources tricare has available for us. He will need to learn social cues, and social boundries. And they encouraged us to try and broaden his range of interests so he doesn't fixate on subjects so much. There are lots of things he needs to be taught according to his own unique learning style. And that is going to involve learning new parenting skills and a lot of work on my part. But I feel like his beautiful, kind heart and absolute lack of any kind of malice will be a big strength for him. There is so much HOPE, and that is huge.
AND they were just CHARMED by the angel-boy and his SWEET little voice, and unbelievably happy disposition. He makes everyone smile everywhere we go. You can't talk to Jett and not smile. He is SO adorable. Awesome day. I am so full of hope.

I blank to cook

2012-01-04T00:50:00.001-06:00

I HATE to cook. There. I said it.
Hate, hate, HATE it! I'm ashamed of that fact. I mean what Mom actually hates to cook for her family? And not only do I hate to cook, I hate any kind of food preparation. The planning, the shopping, the making. Loathe it entirely. Awful, I know. What mother hates to feed her kids? It's just wrong. Very wrong. I feel so sorry for my family all the time!!
This year's resolution is to make real meals, and set the table properly, and have feed my family, darn it!! I'm going to cook and I'm going to like it!! I'm going to turn my "I hate to cook" into "I love to cook". ...Well maybe into "I like to cook"...
Who am I kidding. I would be happy with "I grit my teeth and bear cooking because my family deserves it". I can do at least that, right?

My Sassy Seven-Year-Old

2011-12-12T00:13:00.001-06:00

She poses like this all by herself, I swear, I give no direction whatsoever. And she never runs out of ideas! Cracks me up.
This was her Sharpay Halloween costume:

a rough night

2011-11-18T09:08:00.001-06:00

I'm still trying to get through all the red tape to get Jett this appointment at KU medical ctr. He had a really bad episode last night. He's been wetting the bed for the last month, probably 3-4 days a week, and it seems to be getting worse.
Then he will wake up crying and I will have to change his jammies and sheets and give him a bath. He has woken up like this several nights a week for the past 4 or 5 months, but until this past month it has been to tell me that he needs to go potty and have me help him take his jammies off. I consider these nighttime awakenings "night terrors" because he will be fussing like crazy, sometimes crying inconsolably, but mostly just fussing and whining inconsolably, and he's being so unreasonable that I question whether he's really awake during them. He gets so upset. It's hard to explain but it's a panicky-crying-whining-fussing-tantrum-ish episode, and he's so upset when he's doing it, that I just have to rock him and rock him until he calms down.

Last night was the worst one yet. Remember I said that Jett has never in his life gotten angry. But last night he was closer to anger than I've ever seen him.
I was SO tired when I got up to change his wet clothes, and I didn't want to give him a full bath, I just wanted to rinse him off and get him back to bed so I could go back to sleep. I put him in the tub and poured warm water over him with a pitcher, then took him out and dried him off. He was already upset and he got even more upset because I wouldn't let him sit down in the bathtub.

I have learned that it's best to listen to the things that he wants and does not want. He's not a spoiled child at all. The things that he asks for with intensity are the things that he needs to feel comforted and content. So I almost always grant those requests. I've learned that by listening to what he needs, and accommodating him, he doesn't need quite so many things day-to-day. He is more content and will accept it when I say no to other, less-important (to him) things, if that makes any sense. So when he is having one of his episodes at night, I try to listen, and be respectful of what he needs at that time, and he seems to calm down faster that way.

But last night I was just so tired and didn't want to sit there while he took his time in the tub, so I didn't. He was freezing when I got him out of the tub, and so I wanted him to get his jammies on quickly, but he was fighting me and wanted to stand there in the freezing cold bedroom with no clothes on. So I tried to dress him against his will, and I soon learned how strong he is. His little muscles were so rigid, I had to use all my strength to pull his arms through his shirt. Meanwhile he was howling! I put him in our bed, and he was just thrashing around! I couldn't even hold him like I usually do, he was just going ballistic. I've never seen him do that. It was really scary! The reality of his "special-needs" became so obvious at that moment, and I felt so helpless I just started crying.

During the day when he often seems like a very normal little 4-year-old, I feel like he will be okay, and he can have a wonderful future with not many problems from his "disorder" (I don't ever know what to call it). But at times such as last night when reality smacks me in the face, I want to crumble. And reality has never hit me quite so hard. I just cried, and whispered "Please help him Heavenly Father. Please comfort him." All of a sudden he calmed down and let me hold him. He became as sweet and gentle as can be. The instantaneous nature of the change made it obvious that God stepped in at that moment and comforted him.
Jett laid down and curled up against Pete and started petting his head like you would pet a cat. This is what Jett does when he's calm. He is the most loving little child you could ever know. He will sigh these little content sighs, close his eyes halfway, and do a close-lipped smile. He will say the sweetest things in a gentle whisper.
So he petted Pete's head and said "Hi Daddy. {sigh} I love you Daddy {sigh}. I'm so glad you're home. I just love to cuddle you Daddy". I fell asleep feeling both grateful to God for taking care of Jett when I couldn't, and depressed and sick about the reality of Jett's condition.

*I should explain why Pete wasn't helping out during all of this. Pete tries to help. He used to be the first one up when Jett woke up in the night, and he still tries to help most of the time. But we have learned that it's pretty useless for him to even get up. Jett wants nothing to do with Pete when he's having one of these episodes, and Pete feels helpless. And when he feels helpless, he just gets angry and frustrated, and wants to demand that Jett calm down and go to bed. It does nothing but escalate the situation. Somehow God has blessed me with infinite patience for Jett. Pete has not been so blessed. He's a wonderful father and is always the first one trying to help when any of the kids need anything. But in the middle of the night, well... it's best that he just stay in bed. I know that he was scared last night just like I was. I know that he felt helpless and didn't know what to do. So I was glad that Jett snuggled Pete when he was feeling better. I think that was good for both of them.

This morning I spent quite a long time on my knees talking to God about all of this, and asking Him for help. One thing that I've gained through all of this is gratitude. I am SO grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I've always loved the Gospel, but never actually appreciated it until now. Every answer that we've gotten concerning how to help Jett has come from God. He has granted us that inspiration that is promised to parents specific to the needs of their children. Every time we have had a breakthrough, it's been an answer to a specific prayer to Father in Heaven. The gospel has become a lifeline which we would be absolutely lost without.

2011-11-03T08:57:00.001-05:00

Here is the blog post that I wrote 6 weeks ago and couldn't bring myself to post. I'm posting it now because I'm at the point of accepting all this and it would be nice to have some support if anyone out there knows what I'm going through:

September 17th, 2011

This morning I drove to the new temple site to take a group picture of all the primary children in front of the nearly-complete KC temple. The Primary president rode with me. She is the kindest woman and just LOVES my little Jett. She has a lot of experience with young children. I asked her the same question I ask a lot of people who have had a lot of interaction with Jett. I asked her if she thinks there is something wrong with him.

See, for the last few years I have had the distict feeling that there is something different about him. Different in good ways of course, but also different in concerning ways. The way he is so particular about things. How he covers his ears at loud sounds, and when there are several different sounds at once, like at a carnival. How he is so brilliant in some ways like spelling large words and doing math problems at a very young age, but he can't understand simple things that we are trying to communicate to him, like basic instructions or simple questions. He won't look you in the eye. When I make him look me in the eye, it is very difficult and unnatural for him. How he seems to completely lack self-control at certain times (like in church) and is in his own little world a lot. And how he will talk to absolutely anyone with no reserve, and doesn't sense when they are not interested in talking to him in return (breaks. my. heart. But he is blissfully unaware) He doesn't seem to understand a lot of what you're telling him or asking him. He doesn't "get it" most of the time. And he is entirely unable to answer any "Why" question. The word "why" is out of his realm of understanding completely.

The primary president said that she thinks he may have some degree of aspergers syndrome.

Definition and Symptoms from Mayo Clinic:

Asperger's syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Children with Asperger's syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics.

Doctors group Asperger's syndrome with other conditions that are called autistic spectrum disorders or pervasive developmental disorders. These disorders all involve problems with social skills and communication. Asperger's syndrome is generally thought to be at the milder end of this spectrum.

While there's no cure for Asperger's syndrome, if your child has the condition treatment can help him or her learn how to interact more successfully in social situations.

Asperger's syndrome symptoms include:

Engaging in one-sided, long-winded conversations, without noticing if the listener is listening or trying to change the subject (Extremely accurate description of Jett)
~~Moving clumsily, with poor coordination~~ (Not Jett).
Displaying unusual nonverbal communication, such as lack of eye contact, ~~few facial expressions, or awkward body postures and gestures~~
Showing an intense obsession with one or two specific, narrow subjects, such as baseball statistics, train schedules, weather or snakes. (YES. For Jett it's numbers, letters and words)
Appearing not to understand, empathize with or be sensitive to others' feelings
Having a hard time "reading" other people or understanding humor (maybe)
~~Speaking in a voice that is monotonous, rigid or unusually fast~~ (not at all)
Boys are far more likely to develop Asperger's syndrome than are girls. In early childhood, kids with Asperger's may be quite active. By young adulthood, people with Asperger's syndrome may experience depression or anxiety.

When she said that, it confirmed my fears and was both justifying and heartwrenching. We talked about characteristics of children she has seen and worked with aspergers. They all sounded remarkably like Jett: Brilliant well beyond their years with strange, OCD-like behavior patterns and appearing to be lost in their own world. I fought back tears the whole conversation.

After returning from the temple, we had a ward Luau in the cultural hall. Jett, of course, went for the stage first thing. No one was performing and the curtains were drawn so it wasn't a big deal. During the meal he ran around talking to and playing with all the other little kids, and talking to all the adults he could find. (Did I mention that he is INCREDIBLY friendly and loves ALL people? Even the homeless men in the park the other day were viewed as potential best friends for him, but that's another story.)

Then there were some performances by Hawaiian hula dancers from Libery, MO. We almost made it through that whole morning temple trip and Luau without any "events". Almost.

As the dancers were performing, I heard a stir in the audience. I looked up and, to my horror, saw Jett up on stage weaving in and out of the dancers like an ADD, out-of-control little monster. I was mortified. I was so embarrassed that I froze, and I just sat there watching him ruin their performance.

The fact that I did nothing but sit there and want to crawl into a hole- that was more embarrassing than what Jett did I think. Stupid Kate. Stupid, stupid!

Luckily two of my wonderful youth girls ran to opposite ends of the stage to get him. They had to pretty much tackle him to get control of him, while his pathetic, irresponsible Mom just sat there and did nothing. The lady behind me even told me in a polite tone that I needed to go up there and get him. I wanted to kick her.

So after that the announcer dude thanked all the performers, and thanked "our special guest performer, Jett". I was too upset to crack a smile. I just gathered up my children and got out of that church as fast as I could before the tears started flowing. I have been in tears ever since. What an awful, awful day.

Pete had to work the whole Saturday, and is leaving for California for a week tomorrow. Horrible timing.

Status of all of this as of today, November 3rd:
I have contacted 2 different sources for testing for Jett. Pete and I have each completed a packet of questions about Jett for ADHD and Aspergers testing. The results showed a high likelihood of both. My gut tells me that ADHD is not the correct diagnosis. But I am fairly ignorant of ADHD so I need to be more educated on it before making any assumptions. I know there are SO many different forms of it.

Aspergers seems to be the most accurate description of Jett's behavior. But he doesn't seem to be very severe. At least compared to the children that I've read about in articles and websites. Pete and I bought a book on aspergers on the kindle app on our phones. The chapter that we read seemed to describe Jett, but after the first chapter the book became much more clinical and not useful to parents. I'm waiting for an official diagnosis before I buy another book.
We took Jett to a doctor on post and get a referral for him to be tested at the KU medical center. And I've met with the local child psychiatrist two times now. Those appointments were for me only, and the next appointment will be for the Dr. to evaluate Jett. The waiting lists for these appointments are so long. It's frustrating because I feel like I'm losing valuable time that I could be working with Jett. I am doing everything I know how to do right now, but that's not much. I feel powerless for the most part on how to help him develop normally. My heart breaks for him when I think about the difficulty that he may have in his future. I just want him to be able to do well in school and be well adjusted socially so that he will have lots of friends and feel good about himself.

He is seriously the SWEETEST child. He has a heart of gold. And of course all young children are guileless, but Jett is even more so than any child I've ever met. He never gets angry. Never. He get's frustrated, and distressed, absolutely, but never angry. And he LOVES his Mommy like nothing else! We have a little dialogue we go through on a daily basis. I'm not sure where he picked this up (because nearly everything he says is mimicking a TV show or book).
Jett: I love you Mommy
Me: I love you too Jett-Jett
Jett: And that's the best present of all.
Me: Yes. It. Is. (I was directed initially by Jett to say that last line, lol).

Jett @ 4 years old

2011-09-12T01:32:00.002-05:00

newspaper

2011-08-18T17:58:00.000-05:00

Check out me and my Stoney-guy!:

http://www.ftleavenworthlamp.com/photos/x1852623353/Making-friends-at-PAIR-Day

Jett quotes

2011-08-16T00:23:00.000-05:00

Jett quotes:
Today while shopping "Look Mommy! It's the neek factory store!!" (Nike).

"may I have this dance, Brooklyn?"

{sigh} I lo e you Mommy. And that's the best gift of all."

My little princess

2011-08-15T09:46:00.001-05:00

The other day I needed to go to downtown Kansas City, Missouri to scope out 2 locations for some senior portraits I'm doing. So I took Brooklyn along to help pick out some spots. We went to KC West Bottoms first. It was recommended on another photographers website, and it was amazing! Brooklyn was bubbling with ideas for every cool-textured/colored wall/door she found. I snapped these quick pictures of her in front of a graffiti wall I'm planning to use for my senior.

Here's another great wall. Brookie was so excited to take my picture, even though I had my big lens on and she could barely lift the camera, lol.

On the ride home she said "this was the BEST day Mom!" {sigh}. My sweet little girl.

Inspired

2011-08-12T11:30:00.002-05:00

So I have this friend who I've known since, well about 5th grade I guess. We were cheerleaders together ;) She is the one who inspired me to learn photography when I went to her in-home studio and had her take pictures of Brooklyn. She took these (picture on the left) after doing photography for literally a few months. Oh, and she taught herself. She's always been incredibly smart. So now, after doing photography for 5 or 6 years, you can imagine how awesome her work is. It blows me away, and I am always gushing about her work on her blog and facebook. And I mean GUSHING. When I have something nice to say, I usually don't hold back ;) I say it ALL. (I guess that's why Trace and I are BFF's. Because her compliments are like mine on crack, lol. Trace definitely has me beat, that sweet girl)

Any-hoo, so my friend would never respond to my compliments and praise. Never. So one gets a bit self conscious. I started thinking that I probably annoy her by being such a big fan (and here's a little secret about me: One of my WORST fears is to be annoying to other people). I also tend to copy her a little bit (I can't help it, she has such great ideas!). For example the color block I do sometimes on the side of my pictures, like this b&w picture of Brooklyn above? I got that idea from her {blush}.

So I created in my head all the reasons why she doesn't like me, and stopped commenting on her stuff. I didn't want to bug her.
But for awhile now I have noticed that, although she is an AMAZING photographer, she always puts her family first. In fact, she just had baby #3 and isn't doing a photography business at all. She only takes pictures of her own family, and those pictures just get better and better. When she posts pictures of her family on her blog, she will write several paragraphs about their life at that time, and she just keeps a really good record of their family.

This is something that I want to do. It's such an internal struggle for me. I want to work on my photography website, client pictures, etc. But I also want to take pictures of my kids, and keep up with my blog because it is the only record of our family that I'm keeping right now. So I'm constantly torn between wanting to grow my business, and wanting to devote more time to my family, and photograph and blog about them more.

I KNOW who I want to be. I want to be a daughter of God + wife + mother first and foremost. But in photography, if you're not progressing, you are being left behind, and, although I try not to let that bother me, it does. I see so many Mommy photographers who are incredibly successful, but it is obvious that their success comes at the price of their family. I just read a post recently from a photographer that said that her husband returned from Iraq a little early (after being gone an entire year) and she was so excited because now she has weekends available to do more photo shoots! That made me so sad (and honestly quite sick to my stomach). Here is someone who has their priorities SERIOUSLY screwed up.
But I can understand it at the same time. The pull of this world is so strong! If you don't know exactly who you want to be (and in my case remind yourself of who you want to be on a daily basis), you can get sucked in and be excited that your husband is back from a deployment because now you have a babysitter while you pack in more photo shoots. Yikes. That is the person that I do NOT want to be.

Each time I feel the pull to advertise, and/or spend a bunch of time on business-related things, I think of my amazing friend. I admire her so much. And it's not because she's a great photographer (which she IS), it's because she is so good, she could hire a nanny and be out there making lots of money and making a name for herself. But she chooses to stay at home and experience every minute of her kids' childhood right along with them. And with her God-given, hard-work-enhanced talent, she records so many of those special moments on camera.

I really admire her so much for those difficult, righteous choices that she is making. And I have wanted to tell her that for awhile. But I assumed I bugged her, so I didn't. But there is something very wrong about noticing something so noble about a person and not telling them. That is prideful. So yesterday I decided to just swallow my pride and write her a little letter. I told her that she inspires me to make being a mother/wife/daughter of God top priority. And I wanted her to know that, like the story of Mary & Martha in the New Testament, she is "choosing the better part" and that is so honorable.

So I wrote it, sent it, and said to myself that I would not hear back from her, but that doesn't matter because I felt it needed to be said.

She wrote right back. It turns out that she really needed to hear that at that time for personal reasons.

I learned for myself the truth of that quote: "Be kinder than necessary, because everyone is fighting some kind of battle." I am so, so glad that I followed my heart, and wrote her that letter. I feel like God allowed me to be a tool for righteousness, to help reassure someone that they were on the right path. And to be honored with the opportunity to do God's work? I can't tell you how amazing that feels.

Jett's 4th birthday party

2011-08-10T00:55:00.002-05:00

This is the first year that Jett really understood about having a birthday, so I was SO excited and determined to make it a memorable day!! I had been planning in my head for months. It was supposed to be a Word World party bc that was his obsession for quite awhile. But as July approached, he got over Word World, and moved on to Care Bears. Yes. Care Bears. Check out his video of him singing the song from the carebears movie:

We think it's adorable, this affection for care bears. But I wasn't about to do a care bears birthday party for my little guy. Fortunately he also liked the new show on PBS The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That. So we decided on a Cat in the Hat themed party. It was so much fun to put together! I love the colors and style of Dr. Seuss, especially in that book.

I spent irrational amounts of time making things for this party (just ask Pete, he can attest to that {eye-roll}).

I made fabric banners, signs, fabric gift bags, a Thing-4 shirt for Jett, and red and white striped hat-pops (that took forever!).

Here are Stone and Brooklyn enjoying the dipped marshmallows and hat-pops. Can you tell I'm a little proud of my creations? I got more pictures of them than the party guests. Seriously, I didn't even get pictures of all of the guests. I'm mad at myself for that.

I sure did get pictures of the hat-pops though, lol.

I planned on making a Thing-1 1/2 shirt for Stone, but never got to it. I also planned on making red and white striped hats for all the party guests, but ran out of time. I'm really upset that I never made those :(

Jett was a little overwhelmed by all the action and the number of kids at the party. He kept to himself a lot. But he had fun.

Stoney had even more fun though! And of course Brooklyn, my little social butterfly :)

{The cake}

Before his birthday, when asked what he wanted for his birthday he would always reply "a cat-in-the-hat birthday cake!" He was so excited about this cake! I once again hired 16 year-old Darcey to do his cake. It turned out amazing!! Throughout the whole party all Jett wanted was his birthday cake. Finally the moment arrived! I wasn't able to get many pictures of him being sung to and blowing out his candles because of the cake set-up, but in this one you can see his cute little shy face as everyone sang happy birthday to him. He was SO happy! Look at that blush!

{side note: See the toy Jett is holding in nearly every picture? This is the coolest toy in the whole wide world. Why? Because Daddy made it for Jett's birthday present! He spent hours on it, and it is amazing!

It's the Thingamajigger from the PBS tv show The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That. Pete made it out of lego 's and then painted it. It is amazing! Of course at any given time it is missing at least 5 vital pieces that have fallen off somewhere. In this picture it is missing the helicopter rotor & the front wheel. That's what happens when you build something with lego's. And especially when that lego creation is carried around everywhere the child goes, flown around the house, dropped multiple times, and taken to bed with the child every night. Yeah. Greatest gift EVER. This qualifies for Dad of the year in my book.

Here is what the thingamajigger from the show looks like:

Pretty good, huh? Jett calls it the "Fimmajigger".

Gift opening was a new experience for Jett. Until this year he has wanted nothing to do with opening presents. But he REALLY enjoyed opening family gifts that morning, and got in a little practice for his party.

When Jett opened his first present (a giant Handy Manny building set) he couldn't believe it! He kept saying "Is this for ME?!" and gesturing toward the gift. SO cute.

This numbers book was his favorite gift. He sat there going through it page by page. He refused to open any more gifts after that. He just wanted his book. So the kids drifted away to more entertaining areas of the yard while Jett sat and went through that book with devout precision beyond his years. I love this composite above- it tells the story accurately. Jett sitting all alone with his new treasure.

Later I noticed that he had disappeared so I went to look for him, and found him upstairs in our bed, bare-bottomed, curled up in a blanket with his book.

Buddies: Jett, Stone, + Ammon (my friend, Jade's little boy/grandson of our next-door neighbors, the Poultons. We love this little guy! Stone looks over the fence almost every day, points and says "Ami!!"

I just noticed that in the bottom picture Stone is taking off with someone's shoes. Lol, classic Stone

fasting + felt cakes = happiness

2011-08-04T09:10:00.007-05:00

I have felt like the worst mother and wife lately. I won't go into detail, but I have just really needed some divine help with being the person that I want so much to be
So on Sunday I fasted to be a better mother and wife, and to have my heart filled with even more love for my family, and to have the Lord's Spirit stronger in our home.

The next day I played with the kids all morning. We made felt 2-tiered cakes and felt decorations that they can add and remove at will to design and redesign their own cakes.
We made a mess of the house. But they are happy and I'm happy.

Brooklyn wanted to make a cupcake for Stoney, so I helped her. She couldn't WAIT for him to wake up from his nap so she could give it to him. I had to convince (and then threaten) her not to go wake him from his nap. She was so excited to give it to him.

She still LOVES to make surprise gifts for everyone. It's one of my favorite things about her. Then later she designed and built a little pink mug out of felt all by herself. She built it as a surprise for me.

She was the best daughter and the BEST big sister all day.

The Lord really answered the prayer of my fast. It continues to amaze me how powerful fasting is. It is so much more powerful than prayer, because when we fast we are sacrificing something important (food and water) for something more important. It wasn't fast Sunday but it ended up being a good Sunday to fast because our lesson in YW was on sacrafice and how it is so powerful to bring blessings.

Girls Camp!!!

2011-06-12T09:48:00.002-05:00

Girls Camp!!!

Yesterday I returned from spending a week in Maryville, Missouri at girls-camp (woot-woot)!!! It was every bit as wonderful as I remember it! There is nothing like girls camp. It’s a week of one hilarious thing after another. You spend the whole week laughing hysterically, dancing, singing, and just bouncing around everywhere. It’s amazing. I was so much like my big sister this week. She was a leader at girls camp when my little sister and I were YW, and I found myself acting almost exactly like she always did. Adopting more and more of her characteristics like this. It’s a phenomenon that has taken me by surprise this past year. But that is a whole other discussion entirely.

I always say that some people love babies, and some love children. Me? I adore teenage girls! I have more fun with them than I do with children or adults. I bonded with those girls this week, and now it’s going to be all but impossible to leave them. See, a little over a week ago we received surprise orders to Ft. Bliss which is in El Paso, Tx (but not the heart of Texas. It’s 12 hours away from Dallas! Leavenworth is only 8 hours away). It seems like such a horrible thing. We love it here! We have only been here for 10 months, and had anticipated staying at least 3 years, if not 5, 10, or 20 years! My hope was that we would retire here in Lansing, Kansas. We bought a big, beautiful house and everything. But when Pete made the E-8 promotion list he worried that we would have to PCS sooner than later. But THIS soon? It’s so startling, it’s hard to accept. But at the same time, I feel a strange peace. I keep praying that we will go where the Lord wants us to go (or better yet, stay where He wants us to stay). I’m heartbroken, but at the same time peaceful. There is a small chance that we could stay if Pete gets to slide into an E-8 position at BCTP, but it’s more likely that in less than 2 months we will be packing all our things and moving to the desert.

Some very important work

2011-06-12T09:32:00.002-05:00

Thursday afternoon Brooklyn and I drove to Texas. We had plans for a girls weekend with my ex- primary teacher/FAVORITE Young Women’s leader/Godmother to my children/and one of my very best friends, Susan Garrison. I have had plans to take 1^st birthday pictures of her adorable grandson. And I have been needing to get down to Dallas to do Shauna’s temple work, so instead of making 2 trips I decided to combine 2 trips into 1 and just go down a day early. Brooklyn had been developing a terrible rash that seemed to explode on our drive down. She had bright red cheeks and a bumpy bright red rash that went down her arms, legs and bum. We listened to C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce on the way down. It’s a book that I have wanted to read for years. C.S. Lewis is absolutely inspiring with his profound understanding of Jesus Christ. And his book The Great Divorce was incredible. It changed me for the better, and made life just a little clearer by improving my perspective. Brooklyn enjoyed it too. She’s really a smart and very perceptive little girl.

Friday evening went to the Dallas temple to do Shauna’s endowment. Susan and Randy Garrison met us at the Temple for the occasion. My Mom agreed to take Shauna’s name for the anointing, as I wanted so badly to stand in for her for the endowment. I am SO glad I had that opportunity. It was really special. I was SO emotional there at the temple. The tears started as I sat waiting for my mom to be anointed in Shauna’s place, and didn’t stop the rest of the session. As I entered the endowment room, I nearly fell apart. I am still not sure if they were happy tears or sad tears. Both I think. But the sobs were uncontrollable at times. The kind that make you shake and your chin and lips quiver. I know for sure that I missed Shauna terribly there in the temple. But I also think that maybe since I was taking Shauna’s name upon me, and was standing in her place, that I was also feeling Shauna’s emotions at that time. Shauna has always been an uncontrolled crier. Uninhibited sobs such as that are common for her, but rare for me. I think maybe they were largely Shauna’s. I kept imagining her next to me giving me those strong side hugs she gives.

The most special moment for me was the veil. As I sat waiting for my turn, I watched the 4 Sisters who were assisting at the veil. One was young and beautiful with the most genuine enthusiasm and bright smile. She was the type that never goes unnoticed. A “little ray of sunshine” as Susan had commented a few minutes earlier. There were two other kind-faced women of average appearance, and the 4th was a very masculine with dark hair in a man’s cut, and slicked back looking even more masculine. She was large and broad-shouldered and not very attractive according to the world’s standards. But as I surveyed the 4 women wondering who I would get as my assistor, I found myself surprisingly drawn to the man-lady (as my carnal brain had shamefully nicknamed her before I could chastise myself). For some unknown reason I hoped that I would get her. And then it was my turn, and I did.

I approached the veil, and as it was time to give Shauna’s name, she dug through her pile of papers to remind me of the name I was to give, assuming that it was the name of a stranger. I gave Shauna’s name before she could find the paper and then whispered “That’s my sister”. The woman put her hand to her throat and put her head down as emotion overtook her. She kept her head down and clutched my arm as she took a moment to absorb and pay tribute to this bittersweet experience I was going through. Tears came to her eyes, and as I looked at her, I was no longer looking at an unattractive temple-worker, but was looking at the face of an angel. She was so beautiful as her pure heart shone through her eyes. It was a tender mercy from the Lord that I was given this small moment with a stranger that meant so much to me.

After going through the veil, I stood in the overly crowded celestial room wishing that I had a seat to sit by myself and feel Shauna’s presence for the last time. My parents and the Garrisons were talking and I just wanted to be silent and think, so as soon as the room cleared out I went to sit on the couch by myself. I fell apart again at the thought of leaving the temple that night. I just wanted to sit there with my sister. I knew she was there and assumed that next time I went to the temple she wouldn’t be there, and the thought of leaving was unbearable. I couldn’t stop crying.

I am so glad that I went to do her temple work because now she will be able to enter into the presence of the Lord, and I can imagine no greater thing. I just wish she hadn’t had to go from this earth so soon. I miss her so much.

2011-05-18T23:46:00.000-05:00

Today was super busy and packed with a hundred must-do's, but I decided to put many of those off and make Jett a World World rocket out of oven-bake clay. It ended up taking me an insane amount of time to make this, and I was getting annoyed becuase I had the sense that I was wasting a lot of time. But the moment I showed Jett his "surprise", I knew that this time had not been wasted. In fact, to see him light up like that, I would do just about anything. He LOVES this rocket. He played with it non-stop for the whole afternoon and evening, and is now fast asleep clutching the rocket in his little hand.

Now THAT was a productive day.

2011-04-11T08:22:00.001-05:00

This week I am so grateful for the photography talent that the Lord has given me because it is a GREAT tool for service. It allows me to help people when I would otherwise have nothing to give. I am not in the position to give money to those who are struggling financially. Other opportunities for service such as caring for people's children, cooking, offering rides or anything that requires a lot of time, I'm not able to give in those ways. But in almost every situation I am able to give with photography. I am so grateful for that. God truly has blessed me with this talent, and, although it's hard to admit, the fact that I don't have a lot of paying business since moving here, that is actually a blessing in a way because I have had time to do this free photography and time to be a better mother and wife, which is really what I want to be. I have the rest of my life to become a great photographer. But I have a very limited number of years to be a great mother. I remind myself of that often ;)

2011-04-08T23:55:00.000-05:00

Tonight I took Brooklyn (and Kanani) to the American Girl store. It was so much fun for both of us! All those adorable little dolls and clothes and playsets! Eye candy everywhere!
But I noticed something:
Brooklyn doesn't seem to have that greed gene that I have. She doesn't just have to have all the beautiful things she sees. She was happy just being in the store. Just looking around and enjoying all the dolls and their playsets seemed to be enough for her. She had a gift card from Nana and Papa so she was able to pick out several things to buy, but it wasn't an agonizing decision for her to choose what to buy and what to put back on the shelf. It honestly was harder for me because I wanted all of it! She was perfectly fine with my suggestion that she should wait on some of the things. I LOVE that! I just love her contentment and self control. It makes me so happy. I want my children to be SO much better than I am. I want to nurture this contented way of being.

2011-04-07T23:33:00.000-05:00

Tonight was Brooklyn's 1st grade program/musical. She played a chicken. Mommy is so proud ;) When we got to her school we walked her to her classroom for her to get the chicken mask. This year she has had a little boyfriend named Jayden who one day she is "madly in-love" with and she is planning their future home layout, and the next day she never wants to speak to him again. This little guy, Jayden is SO sweet. I always enjoy talking to him when I'm in their classroom. He doesn't have a shy bone in his body (exactly like Brooklyn) and he has this infectious smile. He's just a doll.
So tonight I was talking to him and Brooklyn's over there giving me the stink-eye, obviously disapproving of my talking to the little guy. Then she tries to yank me away from him, and leans over and adamantly whispers "MOM! He broke my HEART!!". LOL.

Photo journal day 9:

2011-03-27T21:05:00.002-05:00

For family night we built a very long tunnel out of boxes. All three of the kids were THRILLED and had so much fun!

Photo journal day 8: "New Life"

2011-03-27T20:15:00.003-05:00

Hopefully these little sprouts will be our garden someday

future garden site

Jett playing with Daddy

2011-03-27T20:08:00.001-05:00

This is the face is I get whenever I am trying to get a picture of Pete. So this time I'm just going to post it ;)

Photo journal day 7-

2011-03-27T19:49:00.001-05:00

The princess turns 7!!

Photo journal day 6:

2011-03-27T19:42:00.000-05:00

Photo journal: Day 5-

2011-03-21T00:01:00.000-05:00

Jett has developed a new love for building blocks. He will carefully stack them one at a time and call me to come see when his tower is complete. He likes to spell the word "stop" at the base of the tower, and sometimes "bug" "ant" or "log" further up (he likes these words because of Word World).

photo journal: Day 4-

2011-03-20T23:58:00.000-05:00

My sleeping baby. So glad I got this picture of him clutching his favorite blankie. He is growing too fast! I'm glad to have this moment of baby-ness immortalized.

Photo journal: Day 3

2011-03-18T15:23:00.000-05:00

Brooklyn opened an early birthday gift from Fairy Godmother Susan: an American Girl doll! And not just any AG doll. It's Kanani, the Hawaiian one! {squeal!}. She hasn't put her down since opening the box. They had breakfast together and Brooklyn even made Kanani a doll-sized waffle out of paper. Then she brushed her hair and I braided it to match Brooklyn's.

Oh, here's a secret: I took this picture with my iPhone4 !!! Then it went through a round of basic edits in photoshop, but still! I am so impressed with that phone and it's sweet little camera

Photo journal: Day 2-

2011-03-17T23:04:00.002-05:00

Brooklyn's very first soccer practice! (This is a 200mm shot. I was waaaay over at the playground). Brooklyn did, um, uh... okay I will just say it. She was by far the slowest one out there. She was consistently 10-20 feet behind everyone else. Pete and I just were just praying that she would be oblivious to this fact. But no such luck.
It didn't bother her as much as we were worried that it would. Pete gave her a little pep talk in the middle of practice and it lifted her spirits.
We really couldn't have been prouder of her. She worked so hard and never gave up. That is what a parent really wants. That and for the child to be happy and content with themselves.
It would just break our hearts if she felt bad about herself for not being very good at soccer.

I can't wait until she starts ballet again in June. Brooklyn is REALLY good at ballet (yes, I'm a little biased but so what? :)). And she loves it with all her heart- always dancing around the house with these graceful moves she picked up from various sources (mostly her Barbie movies. Barbie does a lot of ballet). She excels in academics, art, has a beautiful singing voice, is a beautiful dancer, but since she was very little I knew she wouldn't be this type of athlete, and that's fine! I just hope she does her best and doesn't let it bother her.

Photo journal: Day 1-

2011-03-16T23:18:00.000-05:00

My photographer friend, Lanay and I are starting a daily photo-journal. I am excited about this!

Day 1-
The weather was so nice and we worked in the garden all afternoon (the area that will soon be the garden anyway). Jett and Brooklyn got their own watering cans, but Jett is using Brooklyn's here. He kept going back and forth between the water spout to fill it up and this mud hole to empty it. I love that about him being little. He is not only content, but fascinated with simplicity.
.

little boring updates...

2011-03-15T16:24:00.007-05:00

All three of the kids have been sick over the past 2 weeks. It started with Jett. We were reading bedtime stories and he started crying like he was hurt. Then he vomited all over the bed. After I cleaned up the huge mess, bathed him, and was putting him to bed, he said (in that tiny, sweet voice) "I'm sorry I caused so much twouble Mommy". Melt my heart!
Poor guy vomited and had diarrhea for days! He just laid around and slept all day. He would ask me to hold him a lot. It was so sad.

Brooklyn's sickness wasn't nearly as bad, and it was weird. She would spike a fever and have these sneezing fits, and then be perfectly fine and bouncing around the house for the next 5 or 6 hours, and then get sick again.

Stoney has had diarrhea and has been sleeping a lot, and a bit fussy, but he hasn't been too bad.

I've been mildly sick with all kinds of symptoms for over a week, ugh!

But today. Today is magnificent! It is just gorgeous outside! Brooklyn and Jett are healthy and Stone and I are almost all better and we have been playing outside and having a great time with this nice weather!

We love to wash the car together, all 4 of us, when Pete is at coaching jujitsu Tuesdays and Thursdays until 8:30 pm. (I hate Tuesday and Thursday). And we play on the swing set in the backyard all the time lately.

Pete went to Home Depot this weekend and got everything we will need for a vegetable garden. It's going to be magnificent, he is working so hard on it.
Last night for Family Home Evening we planted most of our vegetable seeds in this starter kit. it will stay inside for awhile until the weather is warmer.

Oh, and 2 weeks ago Pete surprised me with a new iPhone4 that he had been saving up for! What a guy, my man is so wonderful!
I'm wondering if he regrets that decision though, bc now I'm constantly texting him little video clips of the kids, and photos. The camera on this phone is SOOOOOooo much nicer than the 3G, and the phone is lightening fast. I didn't text a whole lot of pictures before bc my phone was so slow, but now it takes about 5 seconds to take a picture and text it to everyone. Yay!!! I LOVE my new phone!

Here's the 1st video I took with it on the evening he gave it to me. (He was away from home so I sent it to him):

Birthday Kicks

2011-03-03T14:54:00.000-06:00

Time to design my annual birthday nike's! So this year I got little carried away and designed 15 different pairs. And now I can't choose.

Our Baby Girl: she's growing up way too fast!

2011-02-24T12:26:00.001-06:00

Happy Valentines Day!!

2011-02-13T16:38:00.000-06:00

I made the valentines this year...

...for Brooklyn's 1st grade class:

...for Jett's preschool class:

...aaaaand a special valentine just for Daddy:

{and one that didn't make the cut, but I still like it:}

The wonderful blizzard

2011-02-03T07:21:00.000-06:00

Pete had duty Sunday so he slept all day Monday. I went out visiting teaching in this crazy ice-covered city. I got home just in time for the rest of the YW presidency to arrive at my house for a presidency meeting which lasted 3 hours. As soon as the ladies left, Brooklyn got home from school. It was a non-stop day. So when the blizzard hit and both school and Ft. Leavenworth were closed, it was a nice break! Pete and Brooklyn were home for 2 days and we had the best time as a family! I cleaned the house like a mad-woman yesterday and Pete helped a ton too! He can be very helpful when he gets a little more sleep ;)

Christmas morning

2011-01-29T22:36:00.001-06:00

Okay so it's almost February. But better late than never, right? And these HAD to be posted for memories sake.

Christmas in Minnesota was fantastic!! It was so snowy outside, warm and inviting inside, and so special and full of Feider family traditions that I have heard so much about and finally got to experience!

On Christmas morning:

Stone got a baby laptop from Santa. It was so cute bc when he opened it, he pressed a button and it started playing music and he immediately stood up and started clapping to the music. Precious!

Here is Jett showing off his Blues Clues book from Santa. Literally ALL he wanted for Christmas was this little board-book, and a Lightening McQueen reading light (both of which he found at Barnes and Noble a week before Christmas).

That whole week he kept asking over and over: "Mommy? Daddy? Can Santa bwing me a blues clues book? And a tiny Lighting BaQueen light?"

He still carries that little book around. He's burned out the reading light already. It was a cheap one. He doesn't seem to mind though. I bought him a blues clues memory game from eBay for $1. That is the best dollar I ever spent. He has enjoyed the heck out of every card in that thing, and he carries the empty box with him wherever he goes! Today he found one of the paw print cards and was rubbing it on his cheek saying "Oh my paw print! I've missed you so much!"

Brooklyn got a Hello Kitty (skinned) laptop (netbook) from us, with a hello kitty mouse pad, and the sweetest pink tattoo mouse (which I constantly ponder swiping for myself). Excited is too weak of a word for her reaction. I will let the pictures speak for themselves:

I love Anne's expressions in these :) Brooklyn and Anne must be the 2 most fun people to give gifts to!
Santa gave Brooklyn a sweet pair of pink roller blades which she skates around the kitchen in nearly every day!

Fabulous NEWS!!!

2011-01-25T08:10:00.011-06:00

PETE MADE THE E-8 LIST!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!! BEST DAY EVER!!! CONGRATULATIONS HONEY, YOU DESERVE THIS MORE THAN ANYONE!

AWESOME start to my morning!!! Congratulations Master Sergeant (or more likely First Sergeant) Feider!!!
{SQUEAL!!} Let the celebration begin!

Snowman, baby backpack, & tacos

2011-01-24T08:28:00.000-06:00

{look at Stone's tiny snowboots {squeal!}, they're the cutest little things!}

For FHE today we took a nature-walk in the snow, and then built 2/3 of a snowman before we got too cold to stay out any longer. Then we went inside and had hot baths and ate taco's. It was SUCH a nice evening! For once Stone was totally content. He was in the backpack on Pete's back, and although he squirms around and fusses and pulls my hair (REALLY hard too) when I carry him in the backpack, he was as relaxed as can be on Pete's back, and eventually fell asleep. It was awesome.

2011-01-22T23:49:00.000-06:00

This evening we all went to Target and Brooklyn and I drooled over all the {squeal} valentines day stuff (It's our FAVORITE holiday!!). Brooklyn had a little bit of her own money and she bought presents for everyone. This is not uncommon for Brooklyn. She is very generous and her favorite thing in the world is to buy or make people gifts. She gets so excited over it, it's the sweetest thing. When we got home she surprised me with this adorable pink teddy bear. That just melted my heart. It's my new prized possession. Her name is "Vannah" (Short for Savannah).
I just love my little Brookie. She is always telling me that I'm her best friend. It's so sweet. Love that girl.

2011-01-17T21:07:00.000-06:00

Tonight:

Me: "I love you Jett"
Jett: "I love you too Mommy... And that's the best present of all."

{sigh} I love being a Mommy.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T13:35:00.004-06:00

failed family picture attempts

2010-12-14T00:17:00.000-06:00

Take 1:

Not a great picture. No one, including Petey was cooperating (he would not sit up!). I take that back. Brooklyn was an angel. She's gotten so sweet and obedient lately. My little princess. But yes, these pictures will have to be taken again.

(more) Catching up with pasted Facebook posts

2010-12-12T22:30:00.000-06:00

December 12 at 10:01pm
Attempted family pictures today. I have always wanted to get a picture of all of us on our beautiful king bed.

Complete disaster. Mainly bc Jett still refuses to be photographed. But in the shots where Jett is screaming in such a way that it could pass as laughing, those were ruined by Petey who thought it was a good idea to slouch at the kids' level so that I am about 6 to 8 inches above everyone else! Arg!

December 8 at 10:41pm
Stoney started walking today!! And Pete and I were both right there for it!

December 7 at 9:32pm
Okay, I need a good parenting book that is geared toward toddlers. Suggestions please?

December 7 at 9:08pm
Total meltdown. It's the first time I've ever felt like quitting my job.

Traumatic experience in the morning + no husband until 8:30 PM was officially too much to handle.
How do you wives of deployed soldiers do it?!

December 7 at 11:11am
Called 911 this morning bc Stone was choking on a chunk of cereal. He literally could not get any air and wasn't making any sound. I was scared to death. I pounded it out before the ambulance got there, thank God. Scariest moment of my life.

*I included all the sweet comments on this one*

December 7 at 11:10am
Tracy Bower Wow...that is scary! I'm so glad everything turned out ok!

December 7 at 11:12am ·
Joanna Martin White So glad that Stone is ok! That is one of my biggest fears with my kids.

December 7 at 11:17am ·
Charlene Stahura It brings tears to my eyes knowing how scared you were and feeling helpless for that moment. I am glad it all passed and you can breath with a sigh ....agh

December 7 at 11:20am ·
Heather Qualls I am so sorry you went though that. Praying for peace and I am thankful that everything is ok.

December 7 at 11:26am
Jennifer Lewis I am glad everything worked out for the best.

December 7 at 11:28am ·
Heather Orr oh my goodness! I am sure you were hitting hard! I am glad you were able to get it out! SCARY!!!!

December 7 at 11:30am ·
Sarah Peek Glad he is ok! I can only imagine how scared you were!

December 7 at 11:38am ·
Ann Phillips Awww baby Stone, Kate that is one of my biggest fears with shelby, and of course she put everything in her mouth, drives me nuts! but I'm glad you're both ok ;)

December 7 at 11:45am ·
Kate Feider Thank you everyone. Yes, I was pounding really hard! And then I had to physically pull the chunk out of his throat with my fingers when it came up far enough bc every time it would start to come out, he would try to inhale and it would get lodged again. It was maybe 20 seconds but it felt like 20 minutes! Thank goodness I was sitting right there with him bc so many times I am up cleaning the kitchen when he's in his highchair. Never again though.

December 7 at 12:03pm ·
Katie Godbey So glad stone is ok, hope you have calmed down some. Love you guys and miss ya

December 7 at 12:38pm ·
Kristen A Steward Bless both of your hearts! What a scary thing! I hope you never have to experience that again! So so so Glad he is ok. I'm sure you won't put him down until next year.

December 7 at 12:57pm ·
Mary-Catherine Baugh oh my gosh, Kate! I am so so sorry....I cannot imagine how scary that must have been. I'm so glad everything is okay.

December 7 at 2:08pm ·
David Hall Wow, Id say that was a blessing from god that u were able to get it out.

December 7 at 2:41pm ·
Amber Kolk wow...that is terrible, but terriffic at the same time! I am SOOOOOOOO glad you were able to expell it! I hope you are ok too!

December 7 at 2:41pm ·
Julie Johnson Goodnight That must have been so scary for you!!!! I am so thankful that everything is ok. Sending hugs.

December 7 at 3:18pm · Lauren Carey
oh my gosh!! I'm so happy he Is okay!!

December 7 at 4:21pm · Trace N Adam Gibson
Oh my holy crap goodness!!! Kate, that is so scary & traumatic!!! I'm so glad u saved the day & your sweet little Stoney! You need to take a nice long relaxing bath while Pete keeps the kids! Love ya!

December 7 at 4:44pm · Jon D. LeClair
Wow... we need to cherish every minute we have with our kids!

December 1 at 10:39pm
Had so much fun tonight playing Just Dance with my girls! I love my YW calling.

Some women love babies or children. I just love teenage girls!

November 25 at 1:23am

Baby Emmett by Kate Feider Photography

(He is the adorable grandson of a very special friend)

November 24 at 1:25pm
Just got a speeding ticket.

Why is it that the Dallas area is the ONLY place out of the 2 other cities in Texas, and 6 other states I've lived in?!!

November 23 at 6:34pm
The weather in Texas is AWESOME right now! It was a beautiful day.

Catching up with copied and pasted Facebook posts

2010-12-12T14:11:00.009-06:00

November 23rd
This is the product of a vision I had months ago. It's finally complete!! It's going to be a canvas in Brooklyn's room.

November 22 at 1:09am
Brooklyn and Stone are both sick from both ends (yuck). Stone is handling it like a champ. But Brooklyn on the other hand... she should win an academy award for this performance. Poor thing. She cannot STAND to feel the least bit of pain. That's a true princess right there :)

November 19 at 6:09pm
Just got schooled by my 1st grader. She was telling us about compound words and Pete said "what about 'you're'?". I said "That's a conjunction", and Brooklyn said "Contraction. It's a contraction". So we googled it. And guess what.

November 16 at 2:24pm

This is the coolest park EVER!! We stumbled upon it today. Man I love Kansas City!! There's so much to do here!

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fm.visitkc.com%2FMemberDetail.aspx%3Fid%3D39307%26from%3DThings&h=caf34

November 15 at 2:31pm
Someone ran a red light at full speed right in front of me today. I was a quarter of a second away from being smashed into on the drivers side. The same thing happened to me 9 years ago but it was a delivery truck going well over the speed limit through that red light. No doubt God was protecting me. Maybe this time he sent my Shauna to watch over me.

November 14 at 10:46am
Hopefully someday we will be glad we brought all 3 of these "angels" to church every Sunday. Today is not that day.

November 14 at 10:42am
During sacrament Jett went over and grabbed an elderly gentleman's walker and started dragging it across the chapel. We were cracking up...

...the first time...

November 13 at 9:53pm
We went to the funnest place today! If you live near KC and have young children, check it out:

Hallmark Kaleidoscope

http://www.hallmarkkaleidoscope.com/

November 13 at 12:13am
What in the WORLD is up with all the mooing?!?!

November 11 at 11:46am

Newborn photo shoot {squeal!}

facebook posts

2010-12-12T13:12:00.000-06:00

{Okay, it's obvious that I cannot keep up with a blog at this point of my life. So in order to record some of the little (and big) events in our lives in the past few months, I am copying and pasting my facebook posts :)}

November 9 at 10:01pm
OMGosh, the fire alarms ALL went off for 5 minutes and would not shut off. Woke Stone and everything. Now they are ALL going off again! This is so unnerving.

Well- I AM grateful that there's no actual fire. And I'm grateful that my husband is home to handle this :) Thanks Honey, you da Manz!

November 9 at 8:12pm
Feeling very grateful.

I prayed for something very specific this morning and my prayer was answered by 4 different people. So x4. God is so good.

November 8 at 1:54pm
I'm sorry, I have to say it: if you throw your cigarette butts on the ground at a playground, I think that makes you a bad person. I don't know what would happen if a baby or small child ate one, but I imagine it would poison them.

And there are trash cans literally every 25 feet lining the entire playground!

November 8 at 12:50pm
Kate Feider Stoney now baby-signs "please". It's sooooooooo cute.

November 8 at 7:17am Why don't school buses have seatbelts?

November 4th:
HS senior shoot:
Some senior portrait previews of unbelievably gorgeous Katlyn:

October 28 at 7:27am:

Okay Kansas & Missouri peeps: are McDonalds and Play, Bounce, & Jump the only indoor play places? I need to explore my options since it's Fah-Reezing outside!

October 26 at 10:42am:
Going to an adults only costume party on Friday. How can I spice up my boring ballerina costume- but not in a skanky way. It still needs to be modest. Any ideas?

October 24 at 11:37pm:
There is this low howling/moaning sound outside. Very creepy. Okay Kansas peeps, what is it? Cows? Wolves? What else y'all got around here?

{shudder}.

October 21 at 4:14pm:

Check out this impressive pile of clean laundry that I've accumulated. I think this may be a new record. Finna tackle this joker.
Pray for me.

November 3 at 9:02pm:

Feelin so fly like a G-6! That's for you Cayla :)

October 29th:

A few more previews for Taylor:

Taylor's Senior pictures

October 28 at 8:34am:

Just had to share my first completed picture from Taylor's Senior session. Aren't her eyes just STUNNING?!

2010-11-15T06:58:00.000-06:00

This week Pete and I have reestablished our goal of having family prayer and scripture reading every morning. I suggested that we each sacrifice a little. I will get up 10 minutes earlier and he will leave 10 minutes later for work. He always leaves insanely early for work in order to get things done before everyone else gets there and invades his office, loading him with questions and requests.
So when I suggested that we both give a little to make morning prayer/scripture study work, I have to admit that I was surprised when he agreed. I always say that Pete gets better and better every year we are married.
So we started our new routine this morning, just Pete, Brooklyn, and I. Wish us luck :)

Stone Hudson Zane's FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!

2010-11-12T20:36:00.021-06:00

The smash cake session! I've been waiting an entire year for this! I ordered his personalized embroidered party hat months ago (etsy). Visit the shop here

The above picture is from his actual birthday party. Sadly Pete was TDY in Virginia and DC, but I was determined to celebrate on his actual birthday. So my friends, Rocky and Jade and their families came over to have cake with us.

These next pictures were taken on his birthday before his party. Notice the adorable onesie: etsy of course :) He was not in the mood for pictures, but I really wanted pictures of him in his gorgeous crib. He's a year old and I've never gotten them. They didn't turn out as great as I had planned, but at least his bedding is cute right? LOL. I designed it, ordered the fabric, and had a very talented seamstress create my vision. She did an unbelievable job!!! contact her here

Above you can see his panda bear named "Goggie". Doggie was the first animal he learned how to say and he now calls every animal "goggie!!" in the most excited little voice!

The iphone was the only thing that could keep him sitting still for the picture. You can see he has tears in his eyes from the very recent fit over sitting in one place to have his picture taken. Poor wittle guy.

Happy 1st birthday Stoney Guy!

recent pictures of the most beautiful children I have ever seen

2010-10-26T12:30:00.002-05:00

Jett's 3rd birthday and Petey's 30th! LOL.

2010-10-26T12:13:00.000-05:00

Stone turned 1 this month! But I cannot post about that yet because I still need to do a post on the July Birthday boys, Pete and Jett:

I'm a little behind seeing as this party was 3 months ago {blush} but better late than never, right? Pete's parents had a combined party for the two at their home in Bloomington, Minnesota. Jett had a great time, but I think Pete had even more fun!

I cannot believe Jett is already 3! He is the sweetest little 3 year old boy I have ever met. He is BRILLIANT! Okay, I wasn't going to do this but I just HAVE to brag on my little man. He is reading. I mean seriously reading! We got the "meet the letters" and "meet the sight words" DVD's, and several read-along books on the ipad, and I have to give the credit to those resources. But he can also recognize the numbers from 1 to 100 from a number book we would read together last year, and he has like a photographic memory. Not really, but pretty darn close! I am so proud of my smart little man.

He does have some other quirks that I am not so sure are normal and cause me some stress... but we won't talk about that.

Happy Birthday Pete and Jett!!

2010-10-04T07:41:00.001-05:00

Last night I had just drifted off to sleep when I was awakened by what sounded like pots and pans being rustled through downstairs. I listened for a minute and it continued so I nudged Pete and he got right out of bed to check it out. He went in to check on the kids first before going downstairs, and while he was checking their bedrooms I realized that the sound had most likely been the ice maker. It's unusually loud and most nights we sleep with the ceiling fan on which partially blocks out other sounds. But since it is freezing cold here in Lansing, KS now, the fan stays off.
Anyway, I called to him telling him that it was most likely the ice maker and he didn't need to check downstairs. Now if you're waiting for something interesting to happen sorry to let you down. I told that boring story only to illustrate (and to remember when I read back) that my husband is a REAL man. I appreciate that and hope my children do too one day. I had a friend who told me that she heard a loud sound one night and her husband wouldn't get up and investigate. He just rolled over and went back to sleep, and SHE had to get up and search the house with a flashlight in one hand and a kitchen knife in the other. How pathetic of her husband! The head of this household is a real man. He provides for us, he's the protector of our home, and he even does the dishes once in awhile :) We love him.

2010-09-27T21:24:00.000-05:00

Made caramel apples with various toppings for Family Night. When I gave Jett his sprinkle coated one he gave an enthusiastic "WHOA!!". And Brooklyn deemed this the "best day of her life". Who knew caramel apples could brighten a day this much?

nothing too exciting...

2010-09-26T17:31:00.000-05:00

We now have a big, lumber play structure in the backyard thanks to hours and hours of hard work on my husband's part and some help from his Dad who came to visit this weekend. The kids love it! I should have a picture but I haven't taken one yet. Yesterday was women's conference and I rode with my friends Rocky & Jade. It was absolutely inspiring.
I was called as the Young Women secretary and Pete was called as the Elders Quorum 2nd counselor. I am totally excited about my calling. I've always wanted to work with the young women.
Stone is fussier than ever. He had a fever the past few days, poor guy. He is the cutest thing and we love him with all our hearts... but he wears us out.
Jett is still enamoured with Brooklyn and now he puts his little Lightening McQueen backpack on and says "We have to go to my schoooooool!". It's cute and sad. I'm trying to get him into a preschool, I think he would LOVE it.
Aaaaand these are the things I have to blog about. Not much excitement around here. But that's perfectly fine with me. I say down with drama.

Teeth

2010-09-23T23:28:00.000-05:00

This little guy went from having no teeth to having 4 little chompers in just one month! They are the most adorable little things, but they hurt. Yes, he has begun biting me while nursing. I really wanted to make it all the way to 12 months with Stone, but I'm going to have to call it quits here at 11 months. It makes me kinda sad. I'm not ready to give up our bonding time {sigh}.

In the meantime, Brooklyn has lost her first two teeth! This picture is from about 2 weeks ago when she lost her 1st tooth. And tonight she lost another one! She has the most ADORABLE little toothy grin now.

2010-09-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

Tonight we had family home evening and played hide and seek. Jett had so much fun! He was so excited when he found people. He would gasp and say "I found you Bookwin!" (that's a new one too. She went from being Dee-Dee to Bwookie, and now this week it's full out Bookwin!)
So now Jett is a little obsessed with hide and seek. And he thinks mommy has to hide with him when he hides. So cute.
After FHE, Jett was insisting on playing with our big mag light and I was adamant that he not touch it. We hid it for awhile and then Pete retrieved it to take it downstairs and Jett, with desparation in his little voice says "Daddy?! May I share?!!! May I please share your fwashwight?!"
Pete of course handed it right over. Cuz what else can you do when the sweetest little voice in the whole world says 'may I'?

2010-09-15T11:49:00.001-05:00

My house is coming along. I've had so much help from family , I feel really grateful. Here are some of my recent project accomplishments:

2010-09-15T11:45:00.000-05:00

The other day my parents took all 3 kids to the park for awhile. When they got back Jett ran into the house and exclaimed "Hi Mama! I have so much fun at da park! My Brookie have so much fun at da park too!". I love how he calls her his Brookie. It's so cute! He also refers to everyone as "her" or "she" regardless of gender. I love my Super Jett-Jett.

2010-09-13T11:31:00.003-05:00

A few days ago we bought a treadmill off craigslist. Pete went to pick it up from the guys house and while they were loading it into our tahoe Pete hurt his back pretty bad. Our neighbors have some strong boys so we had them come over and get the treadmill down to our basement. Thank goodness for strong teenage boys!

So then I put my laptop up next to the treadmill and put up a shelf up for my mouse, and now I edit pictures while I'm on the treadmill instead of sitting on my butt doing hours worth of editing! This makes me SO happy! editing while exercising- my life is complete.

Poor Petey. He's just now recovering from his injury and hasn't even gotten to try the treadmill :(

2010-09-01T17:54:00.002-05:00

I am having issues with not being able to control what Brooklyn does with her outfits at school. When she leaves the house in the morning, she is put together nicely: cute outfit, matching bows, matching shoes. When she hops off the bus in the afternoon, she has somehow managed to mangle that cute outfit to borderline white-trash. The other day I had her in this red and white polka dotted monogrammed dress I bought on etsy. I put her red fluffy flip-flops on her and a red and white polka dot bow.

When she stepped off the bus she was wearing her ugly gym shoes with the laces flying everywhere {cringe}.

Today I sent her to school in a black and white dress and her ladybug rain boots (with socks) and I sent her sandals in her backpack. She got off the bus wearing her socks with the sandals (which she proudly announced she had worn all day). Major cringe!

Geez, can't her teacher handle these matters?! I mean really. What are our tax dollars paying for anyway?! It's not like Ms. Manthe has more important things to do with her time {eye-roll, sigh}.

BTW, here is Brooklyn on her first day of first grade waiting for the bus:

(she wanted to take the bus the first day, that brave little thing!)

2010-08-28T00:38:00.000-05:00

When you ask Jett his name he says "I'm Super Jett-Jett!" and he does this underhook air punch with his little arm. It's so darn cute. And just recently he has begun saying "I'm Super Jett-Jett with the power to help!". Oh, and his very latest is saying "May I" in the sweetest little voice.

"Mommy? May I hold yow hand?"

"Daddy? May I pwease have some choc-wat?"

OMGosh, talk about melting a mommy's heart!

600 Desoto Rd bay bay!

2010-08-28T00:29:00.001-05:00

Some pictures of our new house before we moved in. It's not ready to have after shots taken yet. Still some boxes to be unpacked and sorted through. Although My sister, Holly and Pete's mother helped tremendously.

I was finna write about how Brooklyn and Jett are now the very best of friends and how she loves school and how Stoney is the most adorable baby in the world and is our first baby to be getting into everything. We are going to have to baby proof. And he's the most ambitious and fearless of the three. He climbs on everything, and pulls himself to standing and cruises around everything no matter how stationary or UN-stationary it may be. He is very entertaining.

I was going to write about all this but it's 12:30 and I have zero creativity. I am going to bed. Good night.

Success

2010-08-26T21:33:00.001-05:00

It is 9:20 pm. Stone is awake in his crib, and he's not crying. This is a huge success for team Feider. It started a few days ago when we decided that we've had enough of Stone waking up every few hours and crying to be held and/or nursed. It was time for him to go in his own room.

(Actually it was stressed-out "me" who came to this exasperated conclusion, and my husband, being the wonderful man that he is, supported me in this, and that's why we are team Feider)

So I put him in his crib and went to our room to read bedtime stories to Brooklyn and tried to ignore the little wails and almost full-out screams coming from the next room. After about 15 minutes he stopped crying and I thought that this had gone pretty well. I found out later that Pete had come upstairs and rocked him to sleep. He's a sucker for sad little cries. Of course i am too, but you go through enough sleepless nights, its easier to see the bigger picture. After that first night he woke up once a night for a few nights, and now he is sleeping all the way through until morning. And he is even starting to put himself to sleep. Woo-Hoo!!

2010-08-13T23:50:00.000-05:00

Today my little sister Holly is visiting from Dallas. She's only here for 3 days :( but we are making the most of it. We worked on putting the house together for the whole day, and then went shopping for more more stuff for the house. We GPS'd dollar tree to go get organizational supplies, and the GPS took us like 30 miles through the back woods of Kansas to a location that was actually just up the highway from us {sigh}. But there is no one I would rather be lost in the back woods of Kansas with (except my Trace of course). Love my little sis.
While shopping in Kansas city we got caught in the most wonderfully vicious thunderstorm. It was extraordinary. I missed those torrential downpours. And the lightening was like nothing I have ever seen! I watched it in awe the whole way home. When I got home, there were chairs lined up in the garage. Pete and the kids sat out there and watched the storm while I was gone. And as I am looking out my window now I see a man on the street corner who has been standing there for 10 minutes staring up into the sky watching the lightening. I love Hawaii and miss it terribly. But it's true: there is beauty everywhere.

Our first house

2010-08-09T07:01:00.000-05:00

We bought a house!! It's in Lansing, Kansas which has a phenomenal school district, and the area is very nice. We move in tomorrow and as of September 5th we are officially homeowners! It's so exciting! This is my dream home. It was just built, its 2700 sq ft, vaulted ceilings which is a must. It has 4 nice, spacious bedrooms, 3 full bathrooms, a fireplace, pretty knotty pine hardwood flooring in the dining room and kitchen and the rest is carpeted. I know hardwood floors throughout the entire house is what most people want, but I have always loved carpet. I think I've mentioned before that I love to vacuum. It makes such a difference in cleanliness in a short amount of time. I would LOVE to own one of those little robot vacuums that vacuums the entire house on its own while you sleep. I could wake up to freshly vacuumed floors every day! That is the greatest invention! Too much hardwood is also a negative because I have an aversion to walking on hard, flat surfaces without shoes on. I feel like everything is sticking to my feet and I walk around with my toes curled. I love carpet.
And I LOVE our new home!

2010-07-24T15:26:00.001-05:00

I am determined to reenter the blogging world after an extended absence. I'm not going to try to make up for what I neglected to blog about because that in itself is what has kept me from blogging for months. Too much to write about. But I have to recap a few experiences:

My niece, Kaycee came to visit for a week the last week in June. Pete took leave for the week and I got a vacation also! We had SO much fun!! We went snorkeling several times, attempted to surf (that didn't go well) paddle surfed for hours (that DID go well), boogie boarded (SO much fun), and Kaycee tried to teach me to skim-board on her last day here. I took a pretty hard fall at one point but had fun trying. That evening I started getting sick. I got those awful body aches and a fever, so I figured I had the flu. I didn't go to the doctor because I thought it was just a virus and they wouldn't be able to do anything for me. But each day I got sicker and my fever rose higher until I was sure I was dying. It got so bad that Pete and I both thought that I had internal injuries from hitting the sand so hard. It was clearly much worse than a virus. I went to the E.R. and they determined that I had a kidney infection. I feel so blessed that it was something easily treated, and I feel so blessed to live in an age of antibiotics where I can recover quickly from something like this.

Now the present day:

We bid Aloha to our paradise home yesterday {tears}. We flew out of Honolulu last night and arrived in Minneapolis, MN this morning. We won't talk about the 8 hour plane ride with our 3 "darling" children. But we made it. It is so good to see family. But my heart is already aching for Hawaii. My consolation is that I can honestly say that I enjoyed every single day there. Even on days where we didn't leave the house; just to look out the window at that beautiful, bright blue sky was enough. I feel like that will always be our home. We had 2 of our children there and had wonderful friends and life changing experiences there. We have plans to attempt to return there after a few years. But for now it is nice to be closer to family. I suppose we are off on a new adventure. God wants us in Kansas for some reason and we will just have to see why, and enjoy ourselves doing it.

My bittersweet birthday

2010-06-10T00:28:00.001-05:00

The morning of my 29th birthday the doorbell rang. When I opened the door this is the sight that greeted me:

zoom in on the sign on her apron :)

My best friend, Trace! She knows me and knows that the best gift EVER is a clean house. So she came over prepared to whip the place into shape. I forbade her to do any actual "cleaning" because I will not have my friends scrubbing my toilets. That just seems wrong. And I'm not too bad at the cleaning part. I actually kinda like to clean, but it's the putting away and organizing that I have major problems with. And Trace has some mad organizational skills. She organized the heck out of my downstairs! She spent hours and hours on my cluttered mess of a living room and did a BEAUTIFUL job! Her talent for decorating and organizing is absolutely amazing! Remember how she decked out my house at Christmas? Here's some of her work:

I wish I had before pictures. She did SO much work!! I think that may be the best birthday gift I've ever received. It was SO nice to kick back and enjoy and nice, neat, tidy home. And on top of that, our friend Katie came over and made the most FABULOUS enchilada's for our family for dinner. They were soooooo yummy! It was such a great birthday. But a hard one at the same time. I couldn't stop thinking about my birthday last year and how Shauna was here in Hawaii for it. It made me so sad. Thank goodness I had my wonderful friends and family there to brighten what could have been a rough day full of sad memories. I am SO lucky to have these 2 girls in my life!!

Stoney at 6 months!

2010-05-29T03:48:00.002-05:00

Okay so he is now 7 months and I'm just now posting these {sigh}. How adorable is my little Stoney?! You know I am enjoying having one that lets me take his picture as much as I want without complaint. :)

2010-05-05T03:40:00.003-05:00

My nieces, Amanda and Kaycee, me and little sister, Holly before the funeral. We all wore bright tights for Shauna. She would have loved it. I'm sure she did love it. I miss my sister.

2010-04-12T09:48:00.007-05:00

On Monday morning, the day after Easter, I got a text from my niece, Kaycee saying "I don't want to hurt anyone by texting this but they gave Mom about a week to live this morning". I called and talked to her, and pretty much fell apart after that. Pete and I started making preparations for me to fly to Dallas. The army paid for a ticket for both Stone and I (major blessing) and I planned to leave the next day. I called our very close family friend, Susan (who is like a mother/sister to me) and told her. She planned to drive out right after work, and then call me and let me know what she observed. That afternoon as I got in the truck to pick up Brooklyn from school, Susan called me and said "Katey, are you in a position where you can sit down for a few minutes? You need to say goodbye to your sister". I just lost it at that point. What do you say to your big sister when it's the last time you will talk to her again in this life?
Susan held up the phone to Shauna's ear and I just told her I loved her and how much I will miss her. It was the saddest moment of my life. I hoped I could make it to Dallas in time.
Kaycee, Dylan, my Mom, Holly, Jared, Shauna's fiance Jeff,and the kids' dad Bobby were all there around her bed at Jeff's house. They each talked to her and hugged her and kissed her and held her hand. My Mom leaned over to Shauna and told her "It's okay Shauna, you can go now". Within a few minutes she was gone.
They all stayed there together with Shauna for hours afterwards. They cried and held each other and continued to hug Shauna and hold her hand until she had to be taken out.
When I found out that she had died, I sent out a text to the clique, and they were all over at my house within 20 minutes. Trace brought me ice cream :). They sat and talked with me and then started cleaning my house. How wonderful are my friends?
I feel so sad that I wasn't there with everyone else when Shauna died. I am so sad about that. But God gave me the greatest friends to be there with me. What would I have done without them?

I flew to Texas the next evening. I've spent lots of time with my little sister and nieces and with our good friend, Susan. None of this really seemed real until the funeral. That was a rough day. Shauna looked almost nothing like herself. It was the saddest thing to see. Neither I nor Amanda had seen Shauna so the viewing was especially traumatic. But at the same time it was a little comforting. That was not my Shauna laying there. That was an empty shell. A very sick, worn out shell. There was no way that was her. I had never been to an open-casket funeral. It's astounding the difference when the spirit is in the body and when it's not. It really made me see that our bodies really are just shells. They're to be taken care of and respected. But they are just the casing for the real person.
Kaycee put together this slide show that was so beautiful. It was shown in the viewing room and we all stood around looking at pictures of the real Shauna. That was bittersweet. My Dad gave a really beautiful obituary. He did a great job honoring her.

Happy Easter From the Feiders

2010-04-04T14:06:00.002-05:00

We love our baby bunny

HSM

2010-04-03T17:02:00.005-05:00

Last year I rented High School Musical for Brookie and I to watch together. She wasn't the least bit interested, although I have to admit I thoroughly enjoyed it. Tonight it came on Disney channel and Brooklyn was an instant fan. During our story time she told
me "Mommy, when I go to High School, I want to go to a dancing one." I love 6 years old.

2010-03-29T20:24:00.004-05:00

Brooklyn just called her Nana and Papa, and she was on the phone with Papa (Pete's Dad) when I came in the room. She was telling him what songs she had on her iPod touch and she sang him each one. She loves Miley Cyrus's version of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I downloaded it and played it for her in the car once and ever since then she walks around with her iPod and plays it over and over and over. Drives me crazy. Anyway, she sang that song to Papa and then sang Down by Jay Sean. I was cracking up.

Jett got his cast off last week. I took him (along with Stone) to the hospital to get it taken off. It was a HORRENDOUS experience! I broke my arm when I was 4 and I vividly remember getting that cast cut off because that circular saw thing they used was the scariest thing EVER! I was horrified to discover that technology has not progressed in that area at all in the last 24 years! They still have that AWFUL cast cutting saw!! And FYI orthopedics department: A two year-old does not care that you can put the blade to your hand without cutting yourself! I had a cast on my leg at 17 and I was scared when they cut it off! Come on! Can we progress a little in this area please?!
Yeah, so Jett screamed like someone was using a chainsaw on him, which is exactly what it sounded like so I don't blame him. I almost started bawling, it was awful for me to see him that terrified. At one point I begged the tech to just use bandage scissors to cut the cast off. He laughed at me.
If bandage scissors can cut through a penny, how can they not cut through a cast?! I told Pete that he owes me 10 shot sessions after that one. So he pretty much has to take the kids for every set of shots for the next 5 years. :)

2010-03-27T19:32:00.001-05:00

My husband is home!! WOO-HOO!! I feel much better today. Thank goodness for a good man. Off to edit more pictures and then go running. Freedom at last!

2010-03-26T13:16:00.003-05:00

So yesterday Jett didn't watch his iPod touch at all. He hardly watched any TV at all. We played together and read stories, and he played outside. But I got minimal picture editing done. This morning I gave him his iPod and gave Brooklyn her iPod and put the baby down for a nap, and here I am with a little time to blog and do pictures. But I feel bad for giving them both their iPods to watch TV. It really is a trade-off and I've got to find a balance. I want to be a great Mom WAY more than I want to be a great photographer. It is so much more important to me. I have to remind myself of that constantly because I tend to get caught up with all the editing I need to do. So let me get off this blog and get some work done!

stress

2010-03-24T04:50:00.004-05:00

Okay, I am so stressed I feel like ima lose my mind up in here, up in here. Lots of stress. WAY too much on my plate right now. Anyone who would like to come visit, and can find their way around the island without me, and wants to me my nanny/maid/cook for a couple weeks, come on ova! What? No takers?
Shot another great beach session today but I am now officially 10 sessions behind as far as editing, and no husband here to help. Yikes. But on the plus side I am now 2 pounds under my goal weight. Thank you breastfeeding... and forgetting to eat because I am so INSANELY busy. Yeah, good combination for trimming down. Stress in a bottle. There's an idea. Too much to do. It's past time to log off the blog. Peace.

Oh BTW, Pete met Al Bundy today. He goes to the same Gracie Barra that Pete's training at.
Chatted with him for a good 15 minutes. If you're going to meet a celebrity, Al would most certainly not be my first pick, but it is kinda cool ;)

Happy Birthday to my Brooklyn!!

2010-03-23T03:48:00.011-05:00

I love how she's looking down all shy- so cute.

Brooklyn wanted an iPod touch for her birthday instead of a party, so we agreed. But I had to have a great cake, so I traded talents with a creative friend. I took pictures of her daughter, and she made this fondant cake. Brooklyn was absolutely DELIGHTED with it! She was so excited when they brought it over. She had friends over to sing her happy birthday and have cake and ice cream. Conveniently they were all daughters of the clique members so we had a fun time too.
That was Friday. Today, on her actual birthday she got her iPod touch, and gifts from grandparents. I wrote her teacher a note saying that it was her birthday and I would be bringing cupcakes for the class at the end of the day. That was a disaster, oh my goodness. Everything went wrong. Among other things, I had to bake the cupcakes in the tins without cupcake papers because I discovered at the last minute that I didn't have any. I was running late and didn't have time to let the cupcakes cool before frosting them so the frosting was melted all over the place. I arrived at Brookie's school 10 minutes before school got out. I walked up there with these dripping tins of gooey cupcakes with no utensils to get them out of the tins, and feeling really bad for being that late bearing these pitiful looking cupcakes. Luckily Brooklyn's teacher is about the sweetest, kindest, most mellow person. She was prepared with napkins for all the kids and had them all go outside and sit in a line while we served them these messy treats. She took one tin and I took the other. Meanwhile Jett disappeared several times and I hate to say that I barely noticed with all the stress I was feeling. He's the type to come right back if no one is chasing him though, so he kept running off and coming right back.
I kept apologizing to B's teacher for everything, and she kept acting like I was ridiculous for apologizing. What a sweetheart this woman is. The kids loved the cupcakes so it ended up being okay, but I was seriously feeling like the most irresponsible Mom and I was sure those teachers were pitying my kids for having me as a mom.
And then Trace showed up and saved the day. She has this way of knowing exactly where she's needed. She carried my big mess of pans to the car for me, and assured me over and over that I'm a great mom, and how great it was for me to bring cupcakes to my daughters class at all, and how it doesn't matter if I'm late for things because people understand that I am doing it all: 3 kids, booked solid with photography sessions, husband out of town, in my workout clothes cuz I just ran on the treadmill. I don't know how true her praise is. I know I need to budget my time better, but I am lost on how to do that. It is NOT one of my talents. I need to be much more organized and responsible. I don't know that I believe all Trace's flattery's, but it sure made me feel better. A LOT better. This is a prime example of why Trace is my best friend.
{Oh, and by the way, later she stopped by and hung out for a little bit and did all the dishes in my sink. Yes, this chick is for real. How lucky am I to have this BFF?!}
I am seriously so in over my head lately. I knew 3 kids would be a little harder, but it is in-freaking-sane! I just have no idea how to juggle everything. Any suggestions?

2010-03-22T03:08:00.010-05:00

I shot this small, very casual, but beautiful beach wedding last evening. On my way there I passed Party City and had a lightbulb moment. I had to have a big boquet of white pearly balloons. I stopped and got them, but wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do with them, so I called Trace for some ideas. Oh my goodness, that girl is SO CREATIVE! She was coming up with fantastic ideas on the spot, one right after another. The couple loved the ideas, and they turned out so cute.
I have found my new secret weapon!! I am so excited! I must consult Trace before each session from now on, that's for sure.

2010-03-20T16:50:00.002-05:00

Pete left this morning for a whole week! Having three kids is hard, but taking care of them all by myself without a husband brings the difficulty to a whole new level. Pray for me!

my little photographer

2010-03-19T12:05:00.015-05:00

Okay so I blew the 30 posts in 30 days. :( Guess I'll have to start over with today's post and try again.
Yesterday I had a session with a 4 month old baby girl. Brooklyn is on Spring break this week and she loves to be my little assistant. She usually stands beside me and makes the kids/babies laugh and smile. And she will run and grab whatever I need. She's a great assistant. Yesterday she was my little protege. She tells the parents "I'm a photographer too!", and takes pictures right along side me with her little pink pocket sized canon. At one point the baby was fussing and the parents were trying desperately to make her happy so she would smile for the camera. Brooklyn takes a picture and announces "I captured the struggle!" and then "I got a great angle!" We all burst out laughing. Where does a 5 (soon to be 6) year-old come up with this stuff?! I captured the struggle?! OMGosh she is hilarious.
We had a Mommy-Daughter date 2 nights ago. We went running for 1 mile (right now she can run about half of it) and later had a photoshopping date. She wanted me to teach her how to photoshop, so we uploaded the pictures from her camera, and she learned how to use the clone stamp and healing brush tool. Running and photoshop? Sounds too much like my idea of a good time! But it was her idea, I swear! My goal is to get her on a DSLR by her 8th birthday. I'm thinking the D40. Sure would be nice if Trace and Adam let me buy their old D40 (hint, hint) since they have a nice, new D90!

My little photographer:

{Getting the shot}

{Checking the image}

{Proudly showing Mom}

I can't believe she's going to be 6 in only a few days! Pete leaves tomorrow and will be gone to Cali for a week for a Gracie jiu jitsu school, so we are having her party tonight. Actually she decided that instead of a "party", she wanted an iPod touch. So we aren't having a party. Just cake. I traded services with a creative girl I know. I took some studio pictures of her little girl, and she is making Brooklyn a 2 tiered fondant covered cake. I fully expect it to be fabulous. This girl just creates amazing things. So hopefully it will all work out... fingers crossed.

2010-03-18T13:31:00.000-05:00

I made my goal weight this morning! It was SO nice to see those numbers on the scale. Thank you breastfeeding!... and a little bit of work on my part...okay, a lot of work.
Woo-Hoo, I'm so excited!

The Feider children's first broken bone

2010-03-17T02:20:00.008-05:00

Brooklyn and Jett were jumping on the trampoline Thursday (a week and a half ago) when we heard unusually emphatic crying coming from Jett. Pete and I ran outside and Jett was crying and saying "My. arm. hurt!" and holding it out for me to kiss better. I inspected it and it looked fine, but he continued to cry. 5 minutes later I had to take the baby upstairs to nurse him, and Jett was still fussing, which is VERY unusual for my little tough guy. I said "Pete, keep an eye on his arm. It's not like him to keep crying like this. It must really be hurting him." A few minutes later Pete came upstairs and told me that it's obvious now that Jett broke his arm because the elbow was bruised and swelling rapidly. I called Mike, our good family friend from church who is also a radiologist in Pete's department. He was on the treadmill at the AMR gym (half a mile down the street) when I called. He was at our door in 45 seconds. That's what a great friend this guy is. He made a bunch of phone calls to the hospital and arranged everything so that Pete and Jett were in and out of the ER in under 2 hours- complete with x-ray and ortho.
We still don't know exactly what happened on the trampoline, but Brooklyn admits fault. She can't really explain what happened, but she was absolutely inconsolable for most of the 2 hours Pete and Jett were gone. She just kept crying and crying. Finally I took her to a quiet part of the house and we got on our knees and said a prayer asking God to forgive her and to help her to know that He knows it was an accident and He forgives her, and her parents aren't mad at her, and Jett forgives her too. I asked that she be comforted. She cried so hard during the prayer, but after it was over, she felt immediately better. So, although it's so sad that Jett broke his little arm, at least Brooklyn learned to get on her knees and that God can console her when nothing else can. Jett's doing good now. He runs around everywhere with his cute green cast. He doesn't seem to be in pain. He is way whinier than usual, but all in all he is doing good. This is the only picture I could get of him when we did Easter pictures with my friends and their kids. He wanted nothing to do with taking pictures. It's a pretty pathetic shot, but at least you can see his cast. Even bribing him with a chocolate bunny didn't make him stay seated. I told him "you can't have the chocolate bunny if you dont sit down by Stoney and take pictures". So he handed the bunny back and ran off. :)

The other 2 pictures I took last week when he was in a much better mood :)

2010-03-16T03:45:00.005-05:00

I just realized I haven't done my blog post for today.
My day went like this: Trace's workout class in the morning, taking care of sweet kids late morning and early afternoon, shot family beach pictures for a beautiful family of 3 late afternoon and evening.

I brought my camera along to Trace's class. Yes, we are "back together" after our 2 long...extremely long days of not speaking to each other. Our husbands arranged a time for us to get together for dinner, and to, as they say, "hug it out". Those two guys had WAY too much fun at our expense! They were texting each other all afternoon before the dinner with stuff like "My wife's in the garage warming up on our mats and hitting the speed bag", "I caught my wife in the bathroom practicing her trash talk in the mirror with her mouth piece in", "When you hear Eye of the Tiger playing outside your house, you know we've arrived". LOL. They are two peas in a pod those two. Here are some pictures of my Bestie:

Isn't she adorable?!
This girl is in killer shape...obviously!
Tomorrow's post will be about Jett breaking his arm last week. I need to upload the pictures of his cute, green cast...

2010-03-15T01:50:00.015-05:00

Here's me at 2 pounds above my goal weight. I'm not sweating the 2 pounds though. I'm healthy, I'm happy, and I feel great! Who needs to be perfect anyway? The pictures were taken by my friend (and protege), Laura. I have had several great people generously spend time teaching me photography over the last few years. It's fun teaching someone else! She's doing great too, I'll have to post some of the ones that she's composed of her kids. They're really good, she definitely has talent! We went to Bellows to practice with evening light and took our girls, Brooklyn and Gracie. It was really overcast, but I liked the effect. We ended up with these stormy beach pictures, and for some reason I just love the mood of them. Here's Laura with her daughter, Gracie.

2010-03-15T01:04:00.010-05:00

Today's blog post is recent pictures of PRECIOUS Stoney! I FINALLY got a couple of his feet! It only took me 4 months to do it, but hey- they're still teeny-tiny and adorable.
Stoney's doing great. He stares down food like crazy now. I might have to give in and start baby food at 5 months instead of 6 as planned. He has quite a grip on him now and will grab the skin on my arms so hard it bruises. He's SO sweet, squeally, smiley, and happy!

The inspiration for this picture came when Brookie brought home a pink helium balloon from a birthday party, and we let Stone hold it. He was fascinated by it, and played with it for the longest time. He loved it! I noticed that he would hold it with both hands and curl up into a ball like this while he played. It looked cool, so I sweet talked Pete into going at 9pm to the Navy shoppette to buy some bright (boy colored) helium balloons. What a man right?! I'm so lucky to have such a supportive husband. Love you Honey! We both love this resulting shot:

My week

2010-03-13T14:40:00.007-06:00

{I am loving blogging every day like this}
The Clique:
So there are 4 of us that are really good friends and we do everything together, and we jokingly refer to ourselves as "the clique". I just LOVE these girls!
But this week I got into a kind of ugly arguement with one of the girls. She's actually the one I consider to be my best friend, so the arguement pretty much ruined my whole week. When we all get together, she's the one who cancels on us a lot of the time. It tends to hurt my feelings since she is my favorite member of "the clique" and we almost never see her anymore. So that's what the arguement was about. And she straight up told me that we probably shouldn't issue her invites anymore. OUCH! Yeah, that was painful. So I've been pretty sad about that this week. And Pete's request to extend for 3 more years in Hawaii was rejected, and that was crushing also. I LOVE my life here! I have the greatest friends, and the best life here. We have no idea where we are moving or when we are moving so that's frustrating and disconcerting. Arg!
I have 4 sessions next week so I'm going to be super busy. Hopefully I'm able to keep up with blogging every day.

2010-03-12T21:05:00.003-06:00

Today some good friends and I got together to do Easter pictures with our kids in our living room. I really love to do these photography days, but MAN they are exhausting!! I have it made though because my friends take care of the kids, feed them, hold the baby and, most importantly, clean up the house while I take the pictures. NOTHING is better than someone cleaning/straightening up your house for you. My friend, Laura especially is super fast at straightening up my house before she leaves. She leaves it looking better than when she came.
Cleaning is the BEST gift ever. For my Mothers Day gift every year, Pete cleans the whole house for me. I look forward to that more than Christmas!
Anyway, I will post pictures from today soon.

March 11th 2010

2010-03-11T11:13:00.003-06:00

Yesterday at school Brooklyn got to use all her good behavior points from the semester to buy things at the PAT store. I guess as far as behavior, she cranks it up a few notches at school because she had lots of points. She bought herself 1 item and bought Jett 3! That's my Brookie though. She loves to get presents, but she REALLY LOVES making/ buying gifts for others.

30 posts in 30 days

2010-03-10T04:01:00.001-06:00

Okay, I'm going to do it. 30 posts in 30 days. I don't care if I just post one sentence a day. I am going to blog every day for 30 days. This is day 2.
Time to post a few more pictures from snowy Texas. Yep. That's right. I said snowy Texas. It snowed like crazy one of the days we were there. I got one of my favorite shots of Brooklyn ever that day:

Holly, Lyndon, Brooklyn, and I had a killer snowball fight one night. It was so much fun! Sorry Holls but Brooklyn and I whooped your booties! Heh heh.

Here are a few of my gorgeous little sister and her boys, Lyndon and Oakley.

Oakley with his snowman:

Me and my favorite little guy, Oakley. (My favorite 3 year-old little guy to be specific. I have favorite 6 year old, 2 year old, and 4 month old little guys too :))

I LOVED spending time with her!! My heart just aches to be back there with her. But at the same time, I LOVE my life here in Hawaii SO MUCH. If only she could move here {sigh}.

Texas

2010-03-09T12:24:00.000-06:00

At the beginning of February I flew with Brooklyn and Stone to Texas. (A BIG thank you to my Utah Mother-in-Law who generously bought the tickets.) My big sister, Shauna (who has melanoma) was not doing well, and we really needed to go see her just in case she continued to get sicker. She was really sick when I first arrived. The first 4 days of my visit she would break into tears and just bawl about things (usually about being sick). She was feeling awful, could barely eat, and just laid on the couch and cried most of the time. I felt so bad! I didn't know what to do, so I just spent a lot of time hugging her and snuggling on the couch with her.
My sister, Holly suggested that she start taking an anti-depressant since she was obviously debilitatingly depressed. She started taking a fast-acting one that only took 2 days to start working. Then she went back to her apartment for a couple days due to some doctor appointments. And when I saw her again, she was a new person! She was dressed up with make-up on, and bouncing around the house excitedly just like the old Shauna. She was the old Shauna again, and was like that for the rest of my visit, which was very reassuring to me. She kept telling everyone "I feel SO much better!". She is very psychosomatic, so I assume that because her mind felt better, her body followed suit. Shauna is also not the type to over-think things. So my theory is that if you gave her a sugar pill and told her that it would make her feel happy and healthy- the placebo effect would work flawlessly and she would feel happy and healthy. Another word for this is Faith. Shauna has a ton of faith. She was given a blessing that said that she would live a long time and that she needed to turn her life to Christ, and some other things.
I noticed that every time she got upset, she would always say "I'm so tired of being sick all the time" or something like that, but never "I'm dying". So I asked her "was there ever a point where you thought/believed that you were dying?" She thought about it for a minute and told me that no, she has never thought that she's dying. In the hospital when she was first diagnosed, she wasn't aware of what melanoma really was and how fatal it is. And then when the doctor came right out and told her that she had 6-12 months to live, she was in shock and it didn't sink in, and then the next day my Dad gave her that blessing and once she heard that she would "live a long time" she took that as scripture and never for one second thought differently. I am SO AMAZED with her faith!! Like I said, she doesn't over-think things and this quality is really working to her advantage. She really has perfect faith that she will be healed, and that is so powerful.
When I left Texas, Shauna was doing great.
Recently though she has taken a turn for the worse. She has had to have large quantities of fluid removed from around her lungs. She's in the hospital and is very sick. A lot of the family is very concerned that this might be the end. The doctors sure seem to think so. But I don't feel that way. I am so glad that I was given the opportunity to go to Texas to be with her for awhile because I have a more accurate perspective of what's really going on. My feeling is that God, through her incredible faith, will save her.
Okay, picture time:

My little sister, Holly and I

Big sister, Shauna

Sisters!!

One of my favorite people in the whole world, Susan. Goodness, I just love this smile.

Both these beautiful faces just warm my heart

Stoney-bear

2010-01-27T03:53:00.005-06:00

I'm having too much fun taking pictures of this little guy. Finally a child who lets me take as many pictures as I want!
(Thank you Char for the bear hat, I love it!!)

our January

2010-01-18T14:29:00.014-06:00

This little guy has gotten so smiley! I have nicknamed him "Happy".

Pete has been wanting to dress Happy in these teddy bear ACU's since he was born. I thought it was ridiculous and they would never fit. Finally he convinced me to try them on him, and they actually fit pretty good! I LOVE the resulting picture- this one is getting framed for sure:

Pete's mother made this adorable bear hat. I love it!

This weekend we went to our friends' house in Kailua. They live right on the water in a converted boathouse.

I learned how to paddle surf! This is something that I've wanted to try for the whole 3 years we've been here! I had so much fun paddle surfing over this GORGEOUS reef. It was so serene. I just fell even more in love with Hawaii that day.

2010-01-12T02:31:00.004-06:00

Darnit, I have not been keeping up with the blog... again. Life is such a rollercoaster isn't it? This week has been bittersweet. I have the best friends ever, and have enjoyed living in "paradise" that much more because of them. Tomorrow Trace, Katie, Bekka, and I are going to pawn the babies off on our husbands and go run bleachers at Ft. Shafter. There's a small stadium with stone bleachers and lots of very long sets of stairs and hills all around. We're going to go kick our butts running up and down all over that place. How cool is that to have a group of girls who are all good friends who all love to workout. Trace is a personal trainer and teaches an awesome workout class 3 days a week at our church. Katie is an ex-cross country star, and Bekka and I do 5 mile-runs together. I just love these girls, we have so much fun together!
So I've had a great week hanging out with my friends, but today has been a sad day. My sister, Shauna is so sick. She started another round of chemo last week and has been going through he'll with it. Today an ambulance took her to the ER due to severe dehydration from all the vomiting. Tests were done and they found more cancer in her lungs. My heart aches. I want to be there with her. Brooklyn is devastated too. She ADORES her Aunt Shauna and asks to go see her all the time. We really need a visit to Texas.

2009-12-31T02:33:00.009-06:00

I have decided to update the blog with little posts more often and not wait until I have just the right pictures to post, or have a long story to tell. My goal is to just record what we're up to day to day, even if it's not very exciting. I smell a New Years resolution!
Today I took Stone to the doctor for this crazy rash he has on his neck. It's been growing and spreading for almost 2 weeks, but the last few days it's started to look really bad. The doctor said it's candida- no big deal, easy to fix. He also got 3 sets of shots. That was AWFUL! The poor little guy was so happy and smiley when I brought him into the immunization room. I hate when their smiles all of a sudden turn into a look of surprise, then a frown, then a wail. So heartbreaking! Then he cried for what seemed like hours when we got home. Pete and I took turns holding him and rocking him. It was so stressful because we felt so bad for him. So to relieve the stress I went for a run and ended up running 6 miles. I felt much better after that, and was mentally equipped to handle more from my sweet kids. It's amazing how exercise is so mentally and spiritually beneficial in that way, not to mention physically rewarding.
In other news- we got a trampoline for the backyard! We were thinking of getting Jett an iPod touch since he is so obsessed with my iPhone, but decided not to feed his tv habit. So we got the trampoline instead and it has been a HUGE hit! Both Brooklyn and Jett jump on it all day everyday, and Pete actually goes out there and jumps for hours with them! So not only has it gotten those 3 more daily exercise but it's also also breeding family togetherness. Score!

Stone Hudson's new look

2009-12-18T22:19:00.011-06:00

We buzzed his head! I LOVE it! He had cradle cap really bad, and I kept putting aquaphor on it, and it just grossed me out because then his head was a greasy mess. So then I would wash it 10 times to try to get the aquaphor out and that would make his cradle cap worse. Endless cycle. He was also developing these unsightly bald patches from the dark hair being replaced by blonde. Now he has this shimmery white fuzz on top. We think it's so cute!

Christmas 2009

2009-12-18T15:54:00.008-06:00

Here is my ghetto $30 tree that Trace made look ADORABLE. She is an artist, I'm telling ya. I've got to put pictures up of my fabulous place settings that she did... with all her own stuff! Yes, I know you're all wishing you had a friend like her. She's the greatest!!

Brooklyn and Pete made this gingerbread house together at her school. She's so proud of it! Pete was on leave this week and got to spend lots of time with the kids.

This Santa dress is one that Pete's parents bought for Brooklyn when she was almost 3 years old. Obviously it's too small, but she can't seem to part with it. She loves this dress! She wears it around the house all year long. When I ask her to get herself dressed, she always goes for this one. I have to specify "...and not the Santa dress." It is so cute though, I hate to see her grow out of it.

What we're up to these days

2009-12-07T00:46:00.001-06:00

Wow, what a month! I haven't posted forever and I have so much to write about. Nothing like a relaxing Sabbath to get caught up. Time has flown! Stone is 6 weeks old already! It's been a bittersweet 6 weeks. I definitely suffered some degree of post pardum depression the first couple weeks. Although I was just in love with our newborn baby, I felt like crying all the time. I even showed up at my best friend, Trace's house crying my eyes out about about absolutely nothing at all. She just sat with me and let me cry about not being able to spend any time with my other 2 children and whatever else I was sad about right then. The thought of going anywhere by myself with 3 kids was so overwhelming, I pretty much never left the house. I cried after I dropped my Mom off at the airport because I was going to miss her so much and she had pretty much done everything for me those first 2 weeks: cleaned my house, made all the meals, fed the kids, gotten Brooklyn ready in the morning and took her to school, washed and folded all the clothes, and held the baby every time he cried. And whatever my Mom didn't do, Trace did. I was completely taken care of.
When my Mom got home, she found that my older sister, Shauna was in the hospital. She was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma that week, and didn't want to worry my Mom while she was away helping me. Shauna has masses on her brain, liver, spleen, kidneys and spine. She went in because her back was hurting so bad, and they ran tests and found cancer.
We have been in shock and just devastated over it. Anyone who knows Shauna knows that she is just full of life and has endless energy. The idea of her having terminal cancer seems just, well, impossible to believe really.
So that was my depressing first 2 weeks postpardum. But things have totally turned around for me. When we took Stone for his 2 week appointment, my doctor gave me clearance to start running again. I was so excited! I went running that night and surprisingly could still run a mile and a half. Since then I've been very careful about what I eat, and Ive worked up to 4 miles. I run 3 to 4 miles nearly every single day. It is my secret weapon against stress. I am happy and full of energy now, and I feel capable of handling 3 children. I've lost 41 of the 45 pounds that I gained with the pregnancy, and I feel just great! I really enjoy getting back into shape after having a baby. Pregnancy is SO horrible, and it's like you're mentally, physically, and spiritually asleep for that long 10 months. And then the baby finally arrives, and you have this precious newborn baby to just adore, and you wake up and come to life again! I LOVE it!! I Absolutely love having my old self back. Pregnancy is SO miserable, and you almost don't realize how awful it is until it's over, which is a blessing.
Pete went to Chicago for a week last week. That was a challenge for sure, but I just made sure to run every day, and therefore was mentally able to handle it.
And now Christmas is coming, and everyone is so excited about it, and there is so much to look forward to. Trace is an amazing decorator and she decorated my whole house for Christmas. It looks SO fabulous!! She did my entire tree and made this ghetto $30 tree (that we've had for years) look spectacular! She did my living room and brought over all these pieces for the dining room and did my whole table with all her stuff. It is absolutely fabulous!! She is amazigand SOOO generous. I can't wait to post pictures of it.
I did 3 photo sessions this weekend and made a little Christmas money. I had a blast doing them. Photography is a passion, and a creative outlet for me and to finally have the energy to do it is such a blessing.

Daddy and Stoney

2009-11-27T00:49:00.003-06:00

The Feider Boys

2009-11-13T22:03:00.006-06:00

Jett, Pete, Stone. Isn't the resemblance amazing?

2009-11-08T17:08:00.004-06:00

Brooklyn just loves her new baby brother. She gets so excited when he holds onto her finger. She'll sit there next to him for the longest time holding his little hand and talking sweetly to him.

Halloween

2009-11-05T18:24:00.006-06:00

For Halloween this year Brooklyn was a Barbie Musketeer. She was so excited about that costume. Jett was a little biker. Check out the sweet tatoo's that Daddy drew on him. He had his ed hardy shirt, jeans, and motorcycle boots on. He was not into Halloween at all though. He rebelled against going trick-or-treating, and then stayed home with me while everyone else went to the church Halloween party. {Sigh}. Oh well, maybe next year he will enjoy it. Stone wore his little skull shirt and black and white crawler-covers. Of couse he didn't leave the house though.

Our wonderful cousins, Anna and Nicole who live in Ewa Beach came down for trick or treating. I love this picture of the 3 girls. Brooklyn just ADORES her cousins.

Introducing Stone Hudson Zane Feider

2009-10-28T23:42:00.004-05:00

Born October 23rd a little after midnight.
Isn't he precious?!?! We are just in love. Too tired to include details at the moment. Enjoy the pictures of newborn sweetness for now.